BELIZE - LIFE IN A BANANA REPUBLIC

CHAT 'N' CHILL BEACH BAR & GRILL - Caye Caulker, Belize

2012-01-15T07:29:00.000-08:00

It has been some months since I visited my blog here and posted anything. There were humorous incidents which arose and I could have written about, but I just didn't have the time, and by now have forgotten some of them.

I spent the last 5 months building my new business venture, the Chat 'N' Chill Beach Bar & Grill on Caye Caulker, while at the same time, working on the new beachfront estate Aquaboy & I bought a few years ago, all the while indulging in the wonderful quiet life off the grid. It has been bliss!

The restaurant & bar, placed on choice beachfront here on Caye Caulker, has me working 14 hour days! For some reason, I did not anticipate that much work and am having difficulty being on a schedule again, which has thrown my entire life off track on that early retirement plan.

What I like about being in business again:

Working with past loyal employees again.
The colorful & cheery place with the spectacular views.
Free drinks & food at my own bar.
The Socializing aspect.
The money-making aspect.
The excitement of something new.

What I don't like about being in business again:

Dealing with impatient tourists (particularly the cruise ship day trippers who are obviously always in a hurry)
The long hours & extra work not anticipated.
The stupid complaints "why does the fish taste so fishy?"
The restrictions placed upon a business owner by VC which hampers one imagination "no live music" etc.

Having to hunt down fish & lobster which is often scarce on an island & hard to find, yet every customer asks for (most local fishermen have joined the tourism industry & given up on fishing)

MY FIRST MEMORY WITH THE RT. HON. GEORGE PRICE, 1ST PRIME MINISTER OF BELIZE

2011-09-19T20:06:00.000-07:00

Mrs. Ilna Auxillou and Rt. Hon. George Price (1st Prime Minister of Belize)

My mother's grandfather Luis Alamina Sr. arrived on Caye Caulker when it was first being settled by the amount of families you could count on one hand. The year was approximately 1870 when the island was still mostly unspoiled bush and mangrove lined sandy beaches. My great grandfather Luis Alamina Sr. sired many children including my grandfather Valentin Alamina who also sired 9 children including my mother Ilna Alamina who then birthed 4 children, which includes me, who has also birthed a son Tyler, who is at the age where he can sire his own children now, which makes the Alamina clan going into 5th and 6th generations here spread across this tiny nation of Belize present day.

The Rt. Hon. George Price, the first Prime Minister of Belize since 1981 when he led us to Independence and the new nation born called Belize, was 92 years old when he passed away early this morning. He had been hospitalized in the last few days and the nation had prayed for a speedy recovery to no avail. He lived a long and interesting life and was very accessible during the years he was a politician and died 1.5 days short of the big 30th Anniversary Celebration of our Independence.

The current Prime Minister of Belize, Hon. Dean Barrow has declared Sept. 26th, the day of his State funeral, a National Holiday, adding to several other National Holidays celebrated in the month of September.

The former Prime Minister, as leader, would walk down the street without an entourage, dressed in his white wayabera shirt. He would shake hands along the way, calling many people by their first names. Most of the citizens of that era remember a personal experience with him.
It was a smaller country then that it is today, which is still so tiny that it is still common to have a run in with our Prime Minister on the street

This got me thinking a little bit about the History of Belize and my experiences here in this country. I recall being 13 years old and already in my second year of the all girls Catholic Nun run High School St. Catherines Academy in Belize City when I first saw in person the man who was to become Belize's first Leader...earning him the name "Father of Independence" or "Father of the Nation" as his political party refer to him.

It was there at school where I I first started to experience the euphora which lasted all of 1981, the year of our Independence. From the first year of High School in 1980, the students were already preparing for a monumentous occassion, the birth of our new Nation to take place the following year. All the teachers at school talked about it non-stop. We were rehearsing for the historcial occassion, parades, learning the words to the National Anthem etc. and the entire country, as I recall, was in a state of excited anticipation and preparation.

Sharon Auxillou Urscheler - 1st Queen of the Independent Nation of Belize 1981

When my eldest sister competed in the Miss Belize contest late in 1981 and won the crown to represent Belize at the Miss Universe Pageant in Peru the following year 1982, it only added fuel to the excitement our family was already experiencing this historical year.

I remember that night on Sept. 20th, 1981 by the old Courthouse near the mouth of the River by Swing bridge, there I stood in the back of the crowd of spectators behind the dignitaries along with my mother and other three teenage sisters. My sister Sharon was all sashed and gowned wearing a crown - Miss Belize, in the line-up at the front along with the rest of assorted Royals and Prime Ministers from the neighboring countries and Carribbean who had made the journey to Belize to celebrate this historical day with us. I remember watching my sister in awe as she stood in the front row next to Royalty, and thought how priviledged it was that the Prime Minister of Jamaica or the Duke and Duchess of Kent were to meet her, my pride, the Queen of Belize. I certainly did not comprehend at that time, the true significance of the day. The New Prime Minister was congratulated, everyone seemed elated - this one saluted that one, a bow here, a curtsey there...the kind of surreal scene that I may never witness again.
I was there present when the flag was raised at midnight, and proudly sang all the words to the National Anthem which I had already rehearsed so many times in school.

I shared a historical moment with the first Prime Minister of Belize with Rt. Hon. George Cadle Price, and I thank him for that wonderful lifetime memory.
R.I.P.

APARTMENTS FOR RENT ON CAYE CAULKER contact: rastatinabz@yahoo.com

2011-08-22T14:42:00.000-07:00


Beach Front View

ONE BEDROOM BEACHFRONT APARTMENT - Caye Caulker Central

Fully Furnished $750. USD Per Month


1 Bedroom with 2 beds

TWO (2) ONE BEDROOM APARTMENTS
FOR RENT - Ground Level of this Main Bldg.

2 Apartments For Rent - Below Top Level with Beach View!

Located Near the "Split" BEACH

2 Fully Furnished Apartments FOR RENT near Split


Kitchen & Living Room, Cable TV, Air Con


This is your view from your 1 bedroom Apartment

Small Office Space for Rent on Beach - not furnished

SMALL OFFICE SPACE FOR RENT ON THE BEACH - Central Caye Caulker $300. USD PER MONTH!

FROMMERS writer Alexis Lipsitz Flippin, describes CAYE CAULKER accurately!!

2011-08-14T07:06:00.000-07:00

Caye Caulker

For anyone who's ever had the urge to flee the rat race and parachute onto a tropical island with velvety air and a breezy, barefoot lifestyle, Caye Caulker would likely fit the bill. It's the kind of laid-back, sun-saturated spot that's as inoculated to the rat race as a civilized place can be.

Located 1.6km (1 mile) west of the Belize Barrier Reef, this funky fishing village is an 8km-long (5-mile) island that's situated a few miles south of Ambergris Caye . The vegetation is lush and tropical, houses are wooden clapboard, the streets are soft sand, and shoes are optional. The island motto is "Go Slow," and the languid pace might drive Type A folks batty but others appreciate the leisurely, meditative vibe.

Belize is a flavorful stew of cultures, of Creole, Chinese, Mestizo, Indian, Maya, and more -- and Caye Caulker has an authentic Belizean feel. Lodging largely consists of family-run inns, gaily painted guesthouses, and weather-beaten motels on stilts planted in the sand. Dining is local and home-cooked. Look for fish, rice and beans, and curries. In lobster season, which begins in June and ends 9 months later, you can eat local spiny lobster just about every night at modest prices.

In spite of its modest, no-frills demeanor, Caye Caulker has a fairly spectacular draw: the Belize Barrier Reef, the longest continuous barrier reef in the Western Hemisphere and one of the last unspoiled coral reefs in the world. It runs for 306km (190 miles) of rich and diverse marine habitat less than half a mile offshore. Just 16km (10 miles) north is the Hol Chan Marine Reserve, one of the most popular diving and snorkeling sites with a spectacular variety of marine life. Many people think the best diving in Belize lies on the outer atolls, just 20 minutes from Caye Caulker. Turneffe, the largest of the atolls, has a beautiful and varied underwater terrain.

Recommended tour operator, Frenchie's Diving (tel. 501/226-0234; www.frenchiesdivingbelize.com), whose divemasters and captains have a combined 70 years of dive experience.

You can enjoy sailing, diving, birding, jungle tours, fishing, and windsurfing in the clear azure waters of the Caribbean here. One thing Caye Caulker does not have is big, wide, white-sand beaches. Sand beaches tend to be squeezed between mangrove forests and ocean, and sea grass grows in the wading shallows. Most people swim off the public piers that extend beyond the sea grass or at the Split, a gathering place to sip the local Belikin beer and watch the sunset. Go slow indeed. -- Alexis Lipsitz Flippin

Information: www.belizetourism.org or www.cayecaulker.org.

Getting There: Belize City to Caye Caulker (Tropic Air; 15 min.).

Nearest Port: Water taxi (45 min.) between Belize City, Caye Caulker, and San Pedro (Ambergris Caye): Caye Caulker Water Taxi Association (tel. 501/223-5752; www.cayecaulkerwatertaxi.com).

TOP TEN REASONS CAYE CAULKER IS GREAT- SUMMER 2011

2011-08-07T06:44:00.000-07:00

1) My son Tyler is here with me.
2) My nieces Isabelle & Marlise, nephew Stefan are here with me.
3) I am making steady progress with my projects.
4) I am madly in love.
5) The weather is great.
6) The Rains have the gardens looking lush.
7) The fishing is good.
8) I am getting plenty of exercise (climbing ruins, kayaking etc.).
9) I am slowly getting rid of excess baggage (gossipy, needy, backstabbing type of friends)
10)I am healthy (just quit smoking too)

ME & NIECE ISABELLE CATCH FISH WITH DOMENIC! CAYE CAULKER, Belize

2011-07-20T12:12:00.001-07:00

FOR SALE: 10 ACRES - 600' + WATER-FRONT PLACENCIA LAGOON $169,000 USD

2011-07-02T06:17:00.000-07:00

This property is ideal for an Exclusive Resort, or an Exclusive Waterfront Mansion - BARGAIN!

Contact for this Property is - rastatinabz@yahoo.com

Just Across the Lagoon from the exclusive Maya Beach area of the Placencia Peninsula, sits a 10.05 parcel in its natural state (see red arrow pointing to parcel in photo above).

The property has tremendous potential in an area where real estate prices has skyrocketed and major, multi- million dollar developments continue to appear along the 23 mile narrow Peninsula. There are plans for an International Airport for Placencia, which will bring even more tourists to this, already fast growing touristic Coastline area of Belize.

The 10.05 acre parcel is only 5 mins across the lagoon by small boat which then gives you access to the main artery road running throughtout the Peninsula. The property does not have power or road access & will need some fill like all other Lagoon properties in the area. An example of lagoon fill & landscaping, can be seen in the project site shown on the photo above.

Solar Power is common throughtout Belize and can be bought & installed from several companies based in Belize. Land fill is easy to do buy buying sand by the truck loads.

The right investor could also enhance this property value, by easily buying a small lot across the lagoon on the Peninsual Strip at Maya Beach for approx. $60K USD which would serve as the connection to the main road accessing the area. The developer can use this lot as a base on the Peninsula Strip, for parking vehicles, a small dock for boats and a check-in office which would facilitate easy transfers to and from the 10 acre property just across, if they were to build an Eco-Resort, private home or sub-divide.

The lagoon is rich with Marine Life and world class fly fishing areas & Real Estate Prices continue to rise on the Peninsula .

---------------------------------------------

For Price Comparison Value with your neighbors i.e. - In the photo above - the multi million dollar development project showing is advertised as:

Placencia's Premier Master Planned Residential Development

Location:, Maya Beach, , The Placencia Peninsula
This is a master planned community, spread over 224 acres, along nine thousand feet of beach and lagoon front on the Placencia Peninsula. It consists of 110 single family home sites, a twenty acre boutique resort site with planned marina, and a 12 acre parcel set aside for condominium development. The development has all the comforts of home, including underground power,...
USD$109,000 - Belize$218,000

THIS WEEK DIVERS REQUESTS ARE UNUSUAL

2011-05-17T06:13:00.000-07:00

1)

Heather: "Please....... I want you to guarantee me that I won't see a shark...I don't want to see a shark you understand!

Frenchies: "Where we are going, the only way I can guarantee you that, is to ask you to dive with your eyes closed!

In the end - she swam with the sharks and had a memorable fun experience!!

2)

UPSET Old Dude after diving 2 out of 3 dives for an hour (extended dives at his request) and still coming up to surface with 500 Psi in his tank when the Dive Master insisted the dive was finished.

Old Dude: "I paid for all my air, why the hell won't you let me finish my air down there!!!"

Frenchies DM: "If I let you finish your air down there, chances are you will stay down there and die"

THE 1970's ON CAYE CAULKER

2011-05-15T09:04:00.000-07:00

The first pic is taken around 1972 in front of one of the first hotels on Caye Caulker owned by my Dad (seen standing way in the back - his four girls in the 1st and 2nd row) The Hotel called Island Traders, burned down around 1978. This is the same site where Tina's Hostel, Diane's Beach House, Sailwinds Hotel and Auxillou Suites are today 2011 owned by Ray's four daughters and beach property still in the family.

In the boat photo 1970's -(Ray & Ilna Auxillou and kids, Tina, Diane & Sharon - Wendy missing)

Over dinner the other night with a few local friends: Some who never left much further than the bordering countries of Belize; some who had gone abroad the world over for many years and returned a while back; some just coming back to stay, childhood friends = lot of reminicing & laughter.

We had one thing in common, we all grew up as kids on Caye Caulker in the 1970's!

As we sat changing topics, one guy mentioned that when he got a tourist complaining about something, he would tell them "just go to the beach and walk into the water like a turtle".

That set us all off laughing and then came the next story.

Back in the 70's on Caye Caulker, still the days of the glorious outhouses perched at the end of a small dock (as can be seen in the palm tree photo), the village men, mostly fishermen or boat builder by trade, use to catch big Loggerhead turtles alive at the reef and bring them back to the sea grass filled shoreline.

Once on the beach, the big turtles would be placed on their backs, sometimes six at a time, where they would be left alive and starving on the beach for days, to keep them 'fresh'.

On average with a haul like this, one turtle would be killed per day and the meat shared with villagers until the next batch would be caught by another fisherman a few weeks later, and so the trend continued.

H and his brother sat there telling us about the time, as kids in the 70's, they got up early one morning & went out to the beach.

There they saw several turtles on their backs, sand in their eyes from frantically flopping trying to flip over to freedom. They could see the water, sometimes feel it as the tide rose, but they were still trapped.

H & Gypsy, feeling that the turtles had somehow stranded themselves on the beach this way, had flipped each turtle back on their feet where they quickly headed straight for the escape route in the ocean a few feet away.

We sat laughing about the commotion that was caused on the island when the fisherman went to the beach, buckets and hacks in hand ready to kill and consume his fresh sea food product only to find them missing.

As brutal as that seemed, at that time, villagers rarely went to the mainland to buy other food products and this was a big source of food for the village. Storing the animals caught in a day's fishing meant that he didn't have to find fuel to go out every single day since money was scare to inslanders and wasn't much necessary for survial. There was one small grocery store back then, and it was owned by my grandparents Marina and Valentin Alamina.

Today, the Oceana Organization would have our necks for such an act, and rightfully so, since there has been a big decline in the numbers of turtles left in our surrounding seas not to mention the brutality of leaving an animal to starve. It is acceptable for Oceana to want to ban this practice today, and it was acceptable then, for a small group of villagers to kill and eat turtles to sustain themselves.

If you think we lived like savages then, this story will horrify you even more.

Sometime around 1976, arrived a Circus on Caye Caulker called Circo Apollo. This was no Circque du Soleil, this was a Mexican Circus. They brought live animals which they held in tiny cages on the football field where they also set up their big tent and stayed and performed shows for at least a week. About 3 shows a day starting from mid-day, followed by an evening matinee and a night show.

Circo Apollo brought with them a big brown Grizzly Bear, several miniture horses and a half dozen Chimpanzees which the kids poked with sticks and threw objects at. I remember all the animals looking emaciated and hungry and the cages that held them had open bars which exposed them to a taunting public out on the football field. The circus performances consisted of plenty of clowns, some acrobatics, chimps juggling, horse shows and the Big Grizzly Bear, being whipped on a small stool as he stood upright and growled at the audience. As we watched this show fascinated by this creature we had never seen before, we now recall that there was only a flimsy make-shift barrier that had seperated that Grizzly from the screaming audience under the tent.

Greg remembers the Bear's name, "Bobby" he says, since they use to say during the show in Spanish "Es Bobby el Oso, el muy peligroso" which translates in English to "It's Bobby the Bear, & most dangerous".

One night Bobby had escaped, and we all remember being told not to leave the house since there was a Bear on the loose on the island. It finally got caught and put back in the cage. Greg offered an explanation as to why the Bear might have broken free. He recalled that the kids were so curious, so devious, that they would put a razor blade in a banana and feed it to the Bear and Chimps, just to watch them bite into it and bleed, the kids of Caye Caulker were torturing these poor caged animals and the handlers were too busy setting up tents to pay any attention. Savages yes, froth with curiousity.

The Circus never returned, one other circus might have returned from 1976 to 2011. There is no profit in dragging animals with thick furs on tugboats across the hot humid sea to Caye Caulker, we don't have enough of a population to make the whole ordeal worth anything to them or the poor trapped animals.

Warning: Please don't bring your Circus to Caye Caulker, you are going to need new animals by the time you leave!

The Royal Couple and the Commoners of their Commonwealth

2011-04-29T08:29:00.000-07:00

Lady Moppy Von Floor of Belize regrets that she was unable to attend the Royal Wedding due to a priority engagement and sends her Best Wishes for the Royal Couple on their wedding today.

EASTER TIME AGAIN

2011-04-25T10:33:00.000-07:00

JERRY JEFF WALKER new song on BELIZE!

2011-04-20T06:50:00.000-07:00

Caye Caulker - THE JOY OF POLITICS

2011-04-17T07:00:00.000-07:00

Ring!...Ring!...Ring! AquaBoy answers the phone to find his brother-in-law on the other end. The brother-in-law is a candidate for the Opposition party in the upcoming BELIZE RURAL CENTRAL Division which is being contested by as many as 4 candidates.
By the name of the Division, you understand that he lives in a Rural Village, the name is Lord's Bank and close to a beautiful river. This small villages in the area have one bus company which services these people to and from Belize City where most of them find work.

AquaBoy: "How is the campaign going over there in Rural Central.."

Aspirant: "The Bus Company is very very upset"

AquaBoy: "What does that have to do with your campaign"

Aspirant: "The political aspirants are now rushing to pick up people at the bus stop and road sides in the mornings to give them free passage to the city. Of course the aspirant uses the opportunity of trapped constituents in his car over the 20 minute ride to plug in a little campaign.

The Bus Company fears they will be Out-of-Business before the next National Election if this continues...."

Political time is here again when aspirants suddenly become very friendly and courteous, trying to win over our vote. In these preliminary elections gearing up towards the big National Election, it is not uncommon that an acquaintance who never gave you much thought or attention all the years, is now suddenly a different person.

These days, it's the Opposition PUP party candidates, the sea of Blue T-Shirts you see swarming the neighborhoods. In our Division BELIZE RURAL NORTH, a fiercly battled campaign between two candidates is underway. The end result, to select the Candidate for the Area to contest in the upcoming General Elections.
The two main players (a freshman and an ex Minister) is heating up for the election on June 7th.
The freshman is an upstart and has already launched an aggressive campaign but time will tell if he can beat the popular Female candidate.

There is a third candidate & fourth candidate from Ambergris, although I really didn't even know one existed in this race until I browsed the Caye Caulker Message Board and saw this aspirant post that he is a candidate. I almost did not mention him at all since the race from my perspective seems to be between only two. He was asking thru the message board medium, for the locals of Caye Caulker to tell him what the problems were that we faced. From what I saw, not many people bothered to answer since I believe, they prefer to meet and talk to their candidates in person to get a sense or feel of that person before they start listing off the problems we face to someone who probably can't do a damn thing about it anyway.
The fourth aspirant is a person who was once the Mayor of San Pedro town and since I don't live on that island, I couldn't tell you if he was a good one.

Seduction & Betrayal are a given in politics - both with the candidates and the electorate. Everybody makes promisies and promises......the candidate and the voters. New & past aspirants from Ambergris Caye, some who previously had a locked control on the growing number of voters on Caye Caulker with their popularity, now find some previous 'die hard' supporters aligning themselves with the new candidate. The reason for the new divide is that some people are proud to support one from their own village. For Caye Caulker, this is history in the making as the current aspirant is the first to have the gusto to go for the gold. As difficult as the uphill struggle will be for him, it is still a barrier that he has now broken by being willing to take up the challenge.

Some aspirants walk around, during this preliminary campaign, as if they are already an elected official shaking hands, quieting screaming babies and showing up at all funerals, sports or community activity, I suppose to show that he or she, can be a Statesperson.

Common folks can dream big and hope to reach a Ministerial position without even having to test their popularity within their Village or towns first as a Chairman or other lower position, and still enter this preliminary contest and if by incident should win, and on a winning party team, whola!....Minister.
Some candidates now entering the 'big league' tried at the local level in their small village and were not elected.

When it comes to the National Election, well the constituency extends to areas where people don't really know the candidate and are just now hearing about the person. In our case, the same Division includes two seperate islands. This grey area is where a freshman candidate, with all the charisma he-she can muster, stands a chance to convince people on the other island, they are not what some people in their village might say they are and vice versa, new areas out of our village might not also know the candidates strong points.

In order to by-pass the small village elections in favor of the preliminaries to the big ticket, all you have to do is put your machinery in place (Committees) and dive head first into the pool of politics with all the charisma, promises and blue notes you one can muster up. Anybody that says raw cash handed out as bribes, boating people in from other areas etc. doesn't happen, would not be telling the whole truth, in my opinion.

Never has there been a candidate from Caye Caulker contesting this position before until now. Most of the candidates in the past, have been from mainland Belize, a few lawyers and businessmen and more recently, the representatives elected have been islanders from Ambergris Caye.

The reason this is important is that the "Big Island" of Ambergris Caye -due to their large number of voters as opposed to Caye Caulker with a much smaller number - tend to vote for one of their own, preferring to be locally governed by someone they know on a personal level & see every day. One who they believe will understand the issues that plague their island better than someone who does not live there.

The Area Representative of the ruling party usually is not contested to represent his party in the next election unless the Area Representative chooses not to run again, leaving the position open to new candidates.

While a Caye Caulker candidate might not understand, in this preliminary stage of the game, the exact issues that plague our much bigger neighbor island; the issues I believe, are similar to ours, just on a larger scale.

Both islands hold Tourism as the number one income earner and preserving that industry with an organized 10 year Master Plan for each island would be a good start.

From rumours - during the meeting at the Center Hall earlier this month, an antagonist who invariably shows up at every political meeting, loud and boisterous, opinionated and crass, plays a vital role in politics.

The Antagonist role is bring to light, points we might want to consider before casting our ballot. The antagonist will no doubt rise and ask a blunt, unforgiving question.

ANTAGONIST: "How are you going to have a known (insert negative comment here) represent your party"

Then another member of the same party, one sitting behind the desk up front on the newly elected committee, starts yelling at the antagonist in front of the crowd, presumably to divert from the question.

Committee Member: "Bway, Shut your Pussy Mouth, SHUT IT you hear or I will shut it for you!"

The Joy of Politics in Belize.

"SWEET TALK" - Song by Lord Rhaburn

2011-04-17T06:41:00.000-07:00

I love the lyrics of this song which tell's you to be original in your Sweet Talk:
I love you like a SAUCE love a B-B-Q
I love you like a HOT DOG love a BUN
I love you like a PRIEST love COLLECTION
I love you like a BELLY love a FAT
I love you like a BALD HEAD love a HAT
I love you like a DRUNK love a TAT
I love you like a TOILET love a FLUSH
I love you like a ORANGE love a CRUSH I
I love you like a DOG love a TREE
I love you like a VIRUS love a FOOT
I love you like a DRUGSTORE love DISEASE
ETC>>

CAYE CAULKER- TRIP ADVISOR USED AS A WEAPON BY BAD TOURISTS

2011-04-02T05:53:00.000-07:00

I operated a successful Backpackers Hotel business for a dozen years up until I decided that it was no longer fun when the "Trip Advisor threatening type" started showing up. These are the types of tourists that depend on refunds to continue their travels since they really don't want to go home, get a real job again or simply have found out that if you threaten that you will write up bad reviews about the establishment, your chances of a refund is generally good.

A "Trip Advisor" threat now-a-days is used like a gun pointed at your head!

As of late, I am no longer calm & polite to some of my guests & adopted a ZERO tolerance for bullshit a few years ago. Trip Advisor particular type of threat or any other for that matter, but this is the common one used.

Then the worse happened, the minute they would threaten to write negative stuff, I would tell them quickly where they could shove their Trip Advisor complaints and sometimes...for good measure.....I would add spice to the stew of complaints they are definitely going to write now...by screaming and yelling at them or throwing them out of my hotel cold turkey - so that their remarks can maybe at least be colorful.

After the first decade of the customer always being right attitude, something snapped in me when I realized how awful, threatening, insulting and in your face some tourists can be. I immediately started to show them the same hospitality.

The second decade of my business found me getting angry at the first sign of a complaint from anyone. At this point, I would just be plain rude and offer them a snide remark, whether their complaint was legit or not. I had become bored of complaints - because of all the ones plain bogus.
I clumped them all into one mental blocked file.
I would tell them to put their complaints into the suggestion box and point to the garbage can at my feet.

Slowly it dawned on me that I had to get out of the business I was in, I couldn't put up with another ignorant tourist another day, just anticipating that thought made it difficult to get out of bed and I lost the zest to deal with them.
I'm not out of Tourism all-together, just "retreating to reload" like Sara Palin says.

In my mind, to survive as business owner without allowing these trifleing tourists to drive me insane, to do the best I can, I had to learn to cherish the good tourists who truly understood the hard work you have put into trying to make their stay as pleasant for them, those who offered kind words and praise, & to ignore the bad guests who would come into a pleasant environment and soon ruin the day, the trip, the vacation, not just for themselves by all their bitching, but for everyone else who was having a good time until they showed up!

From my point of view: for most tourists, they really don't want to be on vacation with this kind of WHINE, rather some wine & cheese on the dock over sunset, preferring if the complainer would just go bury her head in the sand like an ostrich.

Sometimes the complaints are do dumb, about the most insignificant, trifle or insanely pathetic problem they created for a refund that when I roll my eyes back into the socket so hard after hearing it, I risk going blind.

This type of tourist is mainly one travelling for a year or more and is running low on money or has a low monthly budget but wants to do all the fun things that cost money, & everybody else is doing, thus getting creative & learning how to scheme and scam their way into getting "REFUNDS" or free trips and hotel stays.

In the end, I ran the hotel with with an indifferent - or - angry attitude towards ANY negativity from tourists. In some instances, I stopped a hair short of wanting to ring a neck or two. Those who were lucky heard my potty mouth curse the biggest of bad words at the top of my lungs simultaneously throwing the left overs of their suitcase and possessions out the gate. The others that stayed nevertheless, had a good time. I'm mad, I'm rabid and I'm opinionated but I could also be the best hostess you ever had...it really depends on the travellers attitude towards their hosts.

There are good and bad business owners & staff, exactly as there are good and bad tourists!

When is their going to be a website "TOURIST ADVISOR" where business owners can warn or post a negative comment about a scheming or conniving tourist willing to use Trip Advisor threats to continue their crimes and be abusive.

I would love to be able to warn my business friends up the Mayan Riviera Coast about a potentially horrible, thieving tourist coming their way.

ATTN: Cozumel Dive Shops
Elizabeth So & So just left Caye Caulker and is going your way, planning to dive with you - don't take her out!! When she gets back from the trip she will ruin your day, ruin your other divers day by camping at your shop complaining non-stop, she will demand a refund while screaming that she will write you up negatively on Trip Advisor because that soda you offered her did not have the right amount of ice which for example- left her dehydrated all day or some CRAP like that, and unable to enjoy her dive, and therefore you will owe her a full refund of her dive trip!
SPARE yourself the grief & agony buddy!

Elizabeth arrives at Cozumel Dive Shop and Dive Operator says:

"buenos dias Ms. Elizabeth. One minuto - let me jus' punch your name here in the computer to see if jyou have pissed any of my colleagues off in Central America before jyou got here !

After a few minutes...

"Aaaaah Senorita...it seems jyou have pissed a lot of people off on your trip...sorry..no, no go wid me, bye bye!"

So Frenchies Diving had such day yesterday with such a tourist as I just described.

Scenario: Divers all head out to the Blue Hole, a deep dive site. 130 ft is the depth you have to go to see the stalagtites and stalagmites in the Blue Hole otherwise you stare at a wall and the dark blue Abyss.

In other words, in a dive briefing, you are told that because of the depth, it is a short dive - 1o minutes and you are to try and follow the Dive Masters and diver's down in the first 3 minutes. IF you cannot equalize after 3 minutes, you should abandon the deep dive and stay closer to the surface with your other Dive Master there to assist you in just such an event (which by the way happens often - divers not being able to equalize I mean) Since there is no time for the others to wait around the deep burning precious air waiting until you can equalize, the other divers must continue the dive without you. This is just the rules of this diving game and the rules are for the safety of ALL the divers.

So little Ms. Bitchy couldn't equalize and had to abort her dive. Jose, one of the best DiveMasters at Frenchies Diving with consistently good reviews, took her back to the boat safely, and now she is willing to tarnish his reputation on Trip Advisor due to NO FAULT of his own and in fact, did the right thing not forceing her to go down and burst an ear drum or worse. The other Dive Master's continued to lead the rest of divers down to 130 ft. but by now, safely on the boat, Ms. Bitchy is a raving Bitch! Boo Hoo Hoo....she didn't get to go all the way down in the Blue Hole and now it's the Dive Master's fault! It's Frenchies Diving fault!
BooHooHo she bitches ..and...bitches!

PLOOP! Ms. Bitchy's boyfriend aborts his dive on his own accord and follows them back to the surface and boat. He chose to do so, perhaps out of worry for her, but he chose to do so and abandon his dive, she was in safe hands.

The rest of the day went well for all others on board!

Ms. Bitchy did her other two dives just fine in the sparkling crystal clear waters of Belize,
- watched the spectacular colorful wonders of the underwater life of the second largest Barrier Reef in the world.

-She ate a wonderful home-made Belizean lunch, prepared for the divers with all the Belizean spices blended in to perfection.

The weather was awesome and one of the most beautiful days of the year.

-Her and her boyfriend exorbitant Reserve Park Entrance Fee was paid at the Half Moon Caye Island where they stopped for lunch which is included in their dive price.

-They enjoyed the remote island of Lighthouse Reef, stopped for lunch break took a walk around the pristine isle and saw the rare Booby Birds nesting.

- The best part, Frenchies Diving is going to pay the $2000 fuel bill for the long haul out there so you can have a good day island hopping the outer cayes & diving.

FAST FORWARD - Back at the Dive Shop. The all day dive trip is over and now they have returned to the Dive Shop. Ms. Bitchy and her boyfriend begin to demand a full refund of their dive trip day because she wanted to dive the Blue Hole dive in particular, since she could not equalize past 15ft. in the Blue Hole (no one's fault but her own) and the divers continued the dive without her, SHE WANTS A REFUND since her trip was ruined!

WELL I BE DAMNED!!!

OH! Her boyfriend wants a refund too because he willingly abandoned the dive himself, so he didn't see the stalagtites or stalagmites either!

Staff: "We only offer refunds if our equipment is faulty or we cancel due to bad weather or some other fault of our own but not because you couldn't equalize, you got sunburned or seasick or the waves scare you and they are bigger than you hae ever seen etc.... that is the chance you take when you sign up to dive, we complied with our end of the bargain and all the other divers had a wonderful time as the are attesting to right now."

Frenchies Diving Shop kept their position of No Refund for asanine demands, as they should. They are in the right and incurred a lot of expense to have these two on board. If Frenchies Diving wants to get petty or technical, she did dive the Blue Hole, she was down in it up to 5ft to 15 ft submerged. The rest is up to her skills as a diver, she is certified.

So they camped out at the Dive Shop and bitched and moaned FOR HOURS to other potential dives who came to book a trip, to the ones on board; to all the staff, to whoever would listen.

Frenchies Diving staff remained patient in harboring this abuse at it's doorstep.

So they would not leave until their demands were met and they made sure to insult all the "Idiot Locals" around, at least half a dozen of them and so forth it went on into the late until AquaBoy came home for a half hour because he said he did not know what to do with these people and they had become so annoying to everyone on purpose, he couldn't even stand being around his own place of business. After a half hour at home AquaBoy goes back to the Dive Shop and rings me.

Ring!...Ring..! Ring..! Aquaboy: "They are still here and they are still bitching! I've just told them to go tell the Police at the Station since everyone else here has heard it non-stop. I can see them walking down the dock now.
Peace at last!"

The story doesn't end there....
They really went to the Police Station to complain.

Ring..! Ring....! Ring....!

AQUABOY: "I see the tourists coming back up the street with a Police, this is going to be a long afternoon, I might be home later than planned!"

The police come to the Shop and tell AquaBoy the tourists are complaining about being abandoned in the Blue Hole on their dive and want a refund, he was under the impression they were just left there bobbing in the deep blue sea.

AquaBoy explains to the Police that "abandon" means to him that they were left there accidentally or intentionally - this was never the case. He then has to explain to the Police that they were at no time "abandoned" since a Dive Master had made sure she went back to the surface safely and was in the boat waiting for the other divers to surface. He also tells them that he delivered to the tourists what he offered, a Dive Day Trip to the Blue Hole and surrounding areas, everything else went according to plan, all other customers are more than satisfied with the trip and only the woman who couldn't equalize has a problem with the trip....well...and now her boyfriend too as he has joined the fight.

The Policeman listens confused. Then he is helpful, serious, negotiator, bounded by law to try and make peace....

POLICE: If you wont give her a refund, she wants you to take them for FREE tomorrow so she can do her dive in the Blue Hole as she desires.

AQUABOY: So what happens if she can't equalize tomorrow again...do I have to take her out every single day until she can equalize......who is going to pay the high park fees, the lunch, the gasoline for their part of the trip...You are asking me to let her ruin others people's day trip for being trifle, I don't want them anywhere near me again!
Out of the question!

Also Mr. Officer, can you kindly escort these people away from here before I really do something strange like offer them a FREE DIVE - OFF-MY-DOCK!!!!
And so it ended.

BAD BAD TOURISTS!!!

BELIZE BARRIER REEF - WORLD NATIONAL HERITAGE SITE

2011-03-24T13:44:00.000-07:00

DORY'S DON'T SINK TO THE BOTTOM OF THE SEA

2011-03-20T06:47:00.001-07:00

Unexpectedly yesterday, a few of the fellas that work at the Belize Port Authority stopped their boat at our neighbors dock and came by to visit Aquaboy.

When Belizeans sit around a seaside veranda for an afternoon with whisky, wine and a few seasoned veterans of the sea, descendants of pirates; men who have spent their entire life making a living off the waters in and around Belize, those who know every isle North to South of the length of the Country and their surrounding corals in detail....then the real life sea survivor stories can be comically entertaining....and that's just how my afternoon went yesterday.

Well, I wrote about Mr. Carl Cabral before, the lighthouse keeper for the past 40 years at English Caye, a tiny half acre island a few miles off the city skyline, on the edge of a deep main channel, big ship entry into the Belize City port. Mr. Cabral also is a fisherman who knows the waters surrounding the small island, like he knows his own palm.

As we were talking about Mr. Cabral and his knowledge of the underwater area, one of my guests mentioned that when he would go to spend an overnight at the caye, the Lighthouse keeper would tell him where he can find a nice big fish to shoot and cook for the night. He said the hunt was always quick and successful.

Mr. Cabral (lighthouse keeper): "Just go out 2o ft to the wall and turn right, then drop to about 30 ft., past three big elk horn corals and you will see a small patch of coral below with a hole, a 15lb (insert fish name here) is right there - catch that one"

At this point, another veteran of the sea, once a pirate, now a legit part of the Belize Port Authority recounted a story of his youth, when he lived and fished for a living and spent up to six months at a time away from the mainland, on one of the most Southern Cayes in Belize - HUNTING CAYE.

At that time he says, he use to fish that area with his Uncle and sell the products to Puerto Cortez on the Honduran side which is where the piracy part of the story comes in. He says that Puerto Cortez, Livingston and Puerto Barrios are all almost exactly the same distance away from that point, which now makes it an ideal lookout station for Coast Guards who were scarce in his youth.

Hunting Caye and Lime Caye and several of the small islands at the Southern most tip of Belize - that's "where the Reef turns back" he says....also where the rich Guatemalans and Hondurans play during the Lent season and Easter time. They flock there in their big boats that were hauled up in the Rio Dulce most of the year and bring their own entertainment he says - dancing girls, big speakers, coolers full of ice and drinks to last days, their own lighting and generators!

Back in the days when they were pirating marine products to our neighbor countries down South, he says that although the crossing of the Gulf was short, the waves can be tremendous especially if your mode of transportation is a small wooden Dory with a 30 horsepower.

He recounted the time that he nearly drowned on one such trip. He said, this is when he learned that you need to have nerves of steel on the water, no fear, particularly in an emergency situation, and that knowledge thought to him by his Uncle on that fateful trip is what has made him a success in the Mariner's world of Belize up until today - decades later.

"If you panic, you drown!!"

"The Dory won't sink!" he says,

"and I didn't know that then.......which almost cost me my life!"

On this particular evening, he said they set off late from Puerto Cortez back to Hunting Caye.
Just shortly after take off from shore in the Dory, the skies darkened.

They knew that a NORTH (Cold Front) was coming in, but he says he figured wrong that it would be a GUANA NORTH, as they call it down Southern Belize - meaning that the strong winds and cold weather will come without the wetness of rain.

HE: "The seas swelled up and I would be the one driving the boat, my Uncle gave me that control even as a teenager.
The rain started pouring, filling up the small Dory, the cooler of ice which we were taking back to the island to store more fish was accelerating the speed of submerging and Uncle said to throw it overboard. Being the cocky stupid inexperienced teenager, I told him NO WAY we will lose that precious cargo of frozen water."

"I bailed the boat none-stop, one stroke after another, just bailed and bailed and bailed for hours until my arm ached and still no island in sight, and by now, it is already dark at night, cold, rough and wet."

Me: "Thats crazy scary"

HE: "the Dory kept moving forward into the big waves even though we were almost completely submerged. Then the unthinkable, we hit a rogue wave which just engulfed us with water from both sides. This time, instead of the Dory sides being a few inches above water, the wooden Dory was now a few inches under water and I panicked and jumped overboard intending to swim to someplace I would have never arrived at."

"My uncle yelled at me - WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!! GET BACK IN THE DORY!!!!!!" I grabbed back on to the sides and swam back in to my plank for seat, still inches under water.

By now my Uncle was bailing the dory furiously and I joined him and suddenly the dory was back up floating and we continued until we reached Hunting Caye later into that night"

"Don't panic, don't abandon your vessel - two important things to remember at sea and if it wasn't for my Uncle's smarts, I would be dead."

I learned a good lesson today!

THE SEASONS OF CAYE CAULKER

2011-03-18T07:52:00.000-07:00

The misconception of Belize is that we do not experience Seasons like the USA for example. Some people think its all-year-round sun, fun & cool breeze on these magnificent little dotted mangroved & palmed, sand isles off the coast of our beloved nation.

I was just thinking of the Seasons we experience in Belize, this morning, as I watched mesmerized once again at another perfect sunrise.

This is the best Season to be in Belize, this is TRADE WINDS Season.

This season runs from the beginning of March up until late May. It is when sailors flock in their boats and sail away silhouetted into the sunsets;

when the kids fly their kites;

when the rain is getting scarce and the breeze a constant cool that you don't even have to turn on the air-condition.

The diving is perfect except for a few "chop, chop to choppy or something like that from the radio forcaster....10-15 knots" most days, which only adds to the adrenaline part of the tour, by allowing our guests to surf the waves by boat, to and from their dive site.

The windsurfers and kite-boarders are all down for this season and the front of the island is alive with colorful sails and kites diving & soaring in the sky like a Pelican.

Let-me-tell-you. Around here the rides and sites to see are much better than Disneyland!

Just before Trade Winds Season, we had the COLD-FRONT Season.

This season runs from late November to the end of February. A lot of tourists come here this time of year, fleeing their snowed in home, cars and sidewalk. The problem is that tricklets of the bad weather they are escaping, tends to follow them down to the tropics.

So the weather is nice still, but every other week a "cold front" which is the moist cool air currents that flow lower to the South from monstrous Snow storms North which hover over then invade and contaminate our warm tropical air. This is when the weather drops into the super cool 60's and the locals have to pull out our thickest sweaters, scarves and socks to be able to sit on the verandah and watch the tourists flock by in their bikinis on their way to swim in the icy cool sea, most commenting how warm it is compared to where they just left. We think they are just plain mad.

Perception is everything.

The Season before the Cold Front Season and the one that carries some wetness into the Cold Season is the RAIN, HURRICANE & BUG SEASON.

This is our longest Season and a time others might call Summer & Fall.

This Season runs from June to mid November.

Well, honestly, I love and hate this season like I do a good dose of medicine tasting mouthwash.

This is when everything goes calm and the colors are pronounced by the pressure wash of the regular rains, dust free and glistening in the bright summer skies.

The water is flat like glass that when you skim above it, you can see all the big fishes, rays and corals below.

We adjust to a wakeboard, water skis, mask & fins, dive tank - spend as much time as we could in the water. There is a good reason for this, it is hot and humid and the bugs are out & pestering. The bugs have a harder time getting you when you are submerged to your neck.

The sandflies and mosquitos come out in full force after a hard rain which wakes them from the sand, the mosquitos especially love singing and the constant tune in one's ear is so shrilling, that it tends to make you slap yourself silly in the head which leaves one disoriented for the most part. Summer is when you see a lot of people walking around this way, if they are holding a belikin in their hand, that is only because the locals already know that alcohol eases the sting of mosquitos and sandflies. Its an old island remedy.

Well, we haven't even discussed dodgeing hurricanes! This all comes in this most exciting season besides the other exciting times of Lobster & Conch Season which is something else.

Last year, just to give us bored locals a little extra excitement, there was not just one, but two hurricanes, swirling towards us simultaneously. Now that could have been the perfect storm if the Gods weren't looking out for us. Time to board-up and un-board-up your house, like a regular drill. Some times if the hurricane passes by us, far enough away to hit Jamaica or Cuba instead of us, we might still get some of the wave action in the form of 'recaladas' or big surf pounding our sea-level shoreline.

Summer is fun, the kids are out of school and surfing the storm waves on plank boards or running around tearing up our gardens. We love them, like we love our sour lime. This is what my childhood was like - finding a way to may lemonade our of even our lemon seasons. Blessed!

STRANGE THICK MOIST FOG HANGS OVER BELIZE

2011-01-18T06:37:00.000-08:00

Heading towards Belize City in our boat this morning, we encountered a dense moist thick fog which is highly unusual for Belize. This obviously presented a problem for boaters on the water as well as pilots in the air since this kind of weather can disorient even the most skilled pilots and boat captains.

Nevertheless, we made it to the city an hour later than usual and encountered many temporarily "lost" boats in the process. The visibility was at best 100 ft or less most of the way!

ALAMINA OLD TIMERS JAMMING - NEW YEARS 2011

2011-01-14T12:30:00.000-08:00

CALL ME CAPTAIN IF YOU LIKE BUT DON'T CALL ME LATE FOR DINNER

2011-01-13T19:08:00.000-08:00

In December 2010, I got my Captain's License to commercially handle boats up to 32' in size, not that I ever want a job as a Captain, but rather it is more of requirement if you plan on driving any boats in and around the Reef in front of Caye Caulker. Since my sweetie owns a fleet of boats at Frenchies Diving, it was only natural for me to want to get behind the steering!

LIVINGSTON TO PUNTA GORDA BY FERRY

2011-01-13T17:43:00.000-08:00

This was a solo return journey to Belize from the Rio Dulce 2009 where I had sailed to a few days prior with a rabid captain.
Needless to say, I couldn't wait to spring from ship in the Rio Dulce and after making my way back thru the majestic river canyons by water taxi, I arrived in Livinston and had to spend a nite before the next boat to Belize!

CATCHING UP ON BLOGGING

2011-01-13T06:23:00.000-08:00

So much has happened since I last blogged months ago. Most notable, the sale of a long term lease on my hostel biz which freed me up tremendously and spiraled me into early retirement (for now) followed by the purchase of my dream island beach estate along with my dream man (sigh...) and that in itself has kept me so busy & fulfilled with personal pleasures, such as gardening (dirty mind you have)...and reviving my creative side by painting signs, canvas, and trying to finish a screen play I started October 2009 (still undone) - that I ignored my blog -what was happening in and around the island of Caye Caulker - Belize - the world as a matter-of-fact - and concentrated on my own little piece of paradise for a while.

I love my new bubble, nucleus, dream, family, pets and besides, in retirement, I find myself even busier - especially supervising the renovation of this new house which is what I call FUN WORK...!

IN THE EYE OF THE STORM - HURRICANE RICHARD

2010-10-24T08:05:00.000-07:00

It is Sunday, Oct 24, 2010 at 9:35 am

Tropical Storm Richard is upgraded to category I and expect to reach cat II by landfall...Yikes!
======================

Its Sunday, October 24, 2010 at 9:06 a.m.

I am sitting in my brand new renovated (un-insured) beach house looking through the Bay Window from my bedroom towards the vast back garden filled with towering trees, giving me the feel as if I was somewhere in the jungle in Western Belize.
Instead, I am sitting on a beachfront property and if I were to advance 30 steps East to the veranda, my view would change completely to one of the Wonders of the World, the 2nd Largest Barrier Reef stretching across the length of our country along the Mayan Riviera.

Today is special because a day like this could change our lives forever!
At around 8:00 p.m. tonight, we have an inevitable date with Mother's Nature's Force. This one is currently called Tropical Storm Richard heading bulls eye towards us at 10 miles per hour, with 70 mph winds, predicted to increase another 5 mph wind putting him into at least a category I hurricane before hitting landfall.

As we all know on Caye Caulker, tropical storms & hurricanes are the little vermin's that plague us, it seems every October and cause un-necessary expense in one of the slowest (translation poorest) months of the tourist year. So when you own 5 boats, it can be quite a bother & cost to hire a bunch of men to pull them up, take them down, store the equipment, board up, clean the yard from potentially flying objects, hammer a few more nails in the roof, pray for the best and stock up on candles, can food & water and wait it out.

Storms can be quite beautiful as it is occurring and most islanders enjoy watching a good storm, big surf breaking out front and palm trees swaying down to the ground in limbo dance. It is just the aftermath that we detest, looking at the devastation & erosion of beaches, plant life & homes in disrepair that we once again have to rebuild, and the irony is that the day after the hurricane when you are looking at the mess, it will always be the absolute most perfect weather one can ever hope for! = sunny clear blue skies, calm crystal clear waters and cool trade wind breezes.
So with that kind of weather, we get inspired to clean up, and welcome visitors again, and it never takes us long, we live off tourism and we would be stupid if we lamped up (move slowly)!

Awaiting my rendezvous with Richard tonight, the luminous grey Sky's scattered with Cumulonimbus clouds that linger outside the usual bright blue sky do not scare me at this point. I welcome some steady rains after the last months drought. I spent all day yesterday feverishly planting stems and small growing around the new landscape designed yard and I hope instead of getting washed out, the roots will soak up the water, the black soil will become saturated and moist and rich & yummy like the perfectly blended chocolate cake and I hope that they sprout new leaves, stretch them roots and in the end, hope to benefit some good out of Richard the Damn!

2010-10-21T20:08:00.000-07:00

MY NEW CAYE CAULKER PROJECT

2010-08-25T05:23:00.000-07:00

Since I sold Tina's Backpackers Hostel earlier this year on a 10 year lease, I have been given a wonderful opportunity to start doing something else which I had much desired.

I did not want to be defined by Tinas Hostel as I knew my capabilities & imagination reach for much further! Given this new opportunity to express my creativity and business sense on a much broader scale, I am out to impress.........myself mostly.

We are thrilled with our new project & my love AquaBoy & I have dug deep like ticks in a dogs ear, getting down & dirty on a daily basis to make our dream come true.

We are extremely UN-USUAL in the sense, that we are probably the first two Caye Caulker LOCALS who BOUGHT BACK land from a FOREIGNER!!
So you can imagine we paid premium price!
Normally, once a foreigner buys land in Belize, by the time he puts it back up on the real estate market, the price has more than quadrupled since a lot of foreign investors in Belize are here speculating.

We have tremendous plans for our new home & estate, including a new beach dive resort which we have already began working on.

The prize 3.3 acres of beachfront property is located a little pass the airstrip on the way to the South End. Check out these BEFORE pic, as it is bound to change in the next year or two to accomodate the pool, dive shop; restaurant, bar & cabanas!

TINA'S BACKPACKERS HOSTEL SOLD

2010-08-13T11:07:00.000-07:00

Now Open - YUMA'S HOUSE BELIZE - formerly Tina's Backpackers Hostel.

Tinas Backpackers Hostel is changing hands this summer!

A lovely lady by the name of Susanne Michelus, a talented photographer of German decent currently living & working in New York, is moving to the island with her son Yuma & taking over the beachfront hostel.

Susanne & I collaborated on a book of Caye Caulker earlier this year.

I am pleased to be the first to welcome to Caye Caulker Susanne & Yuma Michelus!

For Book & Websites CLICK:

http://ambergriscaye.com/forum/ubbthreads.php/topics/374978/New_Book_On_Caye_Caulker.html
YUMA'S HOUSE BELIZE - formerly Tinas Backpackers Hostel
http://www.yumashousebelize.com/

http://yumashousebelize.blogspot.com/

http://www.tinashostel.blogspot.com/

DORIAN NUNEZ AND THE COSTA MAYA 2010 BEAUTY QUEENS VISIT CAYE CAULKER

2010-08-05T10:43:00.000-07:00

Dorian Nunez, my friend & the Owner/Editor of the well known fabulous paper www.ambergristoday.com , gave us the honor of his presence once again.

As usual, Dorian always brings along a nice party - this time, the lovely Contestants from all over Central America who are competing for the title of Costa Maya Queen 2010.

The Costa Maya Festival lasts three days with musical bands from all over the region as well as the opening night which features the Costa Maya Pageant.

If you are not in the cayes this weekend, then you should be for this Festival, its a must-see when in Belize.

REVISITING A FAVORITE VILLAGE - GALES POINT MANATEE

2010-07-31T20:42:00.000-07:00

Back in January 2008, I wrote about my first experience visiting the little village of Gales Point Manatee, Belize.

Since then, I have re-visted several times as it is one of my favorite quiet get-away spots in the country.

On this weekend, Aquaboy and I headed down in old Bessie the van with our friends Simeon & Cory to spend an overnight.

While there, we took a few hours to explore the lagoons and the entrance to the little peninsula where we found to our surprise, the fishes were biting like crazy.

After leaving with my $10 bz sack of mango which contained at least a few hundred fruits which I found to be a tremendous bargain, considering we pay a full $1.50 per mango on the islands, I have been O.D'ing with mango flavors especially mango chutney put on everything from pork chops to salads.

TINA'S BLUE MOON HOTEL OF CAYE CAULKER CATERS TO DIVERS ESPECIALLY BUT NOT EXCLUSIVELY

2010-07-28T07:56:00.001-07:00

For More Info, Check out my new site:

http://bluemoonhotelbelize.blogspot.com/

OVERHEARD - ISLAND COMPETITION FOR TOURISTS

2010-07-22T08:21:00.000-07:00

TOUR GUIDE: "Man, its the middle of high season and people are still dropping their snorkel prices from the usual $90 Bz to $75 bz."

ME: "And that price still includes the hefty Marine Park fee, lunch, fruits, & snorkel gear?"

TOUR GUIDE: "for some operators, in addition to all that, the price even includes rum punch and marijuana !

ISLAND DIVER IN DUAL SURVIVAL SHOW ON DISCOVERY CHANNEL

2010-07-19T14:58:00.001-07:00

Aquaboy, the owner of Frenchies Diving on Caye Caulker, was filmed earlier this year as the stunt diver entering the caves and getting disoriented, for the series DUAL SURVIVAL shot in Belize. As a result of the all day filming which we did mostly inland Belize in the Cave's Branch sytem, AquaBoy got his full minute of fame on the Discovery Channel whichs hosts the show.

AN ENCOUNTER WITH A TATADUHENDE

2010-07-19T12:04:00.000-07:00

While growing up as a child in Caye Caulker in the 1970's when Elvis was still alive, my educator mother would be off studying somewhere around the world on a scholarship and we would be in the care of my Grandfather's kind & sweet spinster sister Clotilde.

My grandaunt Clotilde Alamina would sometimes try to teach us dances, songs and dialect of the Mayan & Mestizo traditions, the way she lived her frugal but cultural life in her tiny little village.

One of the stories she told us often, especially when she had to care for us for months at a time, was the story was the Belizean folktale of the TATADUHENDE's of Caye Caulker. The Tataduhende is a menacing guardian spirit of the mangrove forest, who lives in the two lagoons located on either side of the Split at the South & North Point according to some locals.

In retrospect, I understand why they would tell us this folktale, as young frightened children, it kept us from wandering too far away from home in our daily explorations around the island & seas.

As we often sit in hammocks on the verandah and sip the endless Cashew Wine sitting in the big barrel downstairs, AquaBoy & I reminisce a lot about the old days growing up on Caye Caulker. We share a lot of the same experiences.

AquaBoy and his brother had heard that if you lie in the South lagoon's little rickety wooden bridge long enough at night, you too will encounter a Tataduhende. He and his brother decided they would hunt a Tataduhende, especially since they had recently heard from their Tia Tencha that one had taken her away and she was later found lieing semi-concious on a styrafoam floating in the middle of the lagoon.

AquaBoy says that they headed into the lagoon creeping through the mangroves & guided only by the bright moon light. He says he didn't like going with his brother because when he catches a fright, he will just break away and run as far and fast as he could leaving him there standing alone.

They had planned to capture the Tataduhende from behind so they had entered the mangrove swamp from the West side of the island. They made sure they took a bag of CocoPlums since they heard that was what they ate.

Rumors were rampant on the island then that if you were far off from center village and picking CocoPlums from the vast number of trees lineing the mangrove swamp near the airstrip, that you could smell and see the tiny little men who would peek out from the bushes and try to entice you to follow them into the mangrove swamp where you would eventually get lost. They would call you, and you would follow and as they are looking at you and calling you, they are walking backwards, further into the forest because their feet is facing the back.

AquaBoy says that he heard they were about the size of a two year old. That if you put a big Mexican sombrero over their heads, it would conceal them entirely.

"Why would they entice a child to go into the mangroves and get lost?" I asked.

"Oh, just for kicks and giggles. They are jealous because they only have four fingers & backward feet" he says.

MY SON TYLER LOEPER, CHILD OF THE WORLD!

2010-07-16T07:38:00.000-07:00

It's hard to believe that a barefoot little island girl from the nether reaches of First World could spawn such an International Child, but yes it's true. I have a child who really is not sure where to call home at this point - is it Africa? Belize? USA? Germany? I was 22 when I collaborated with a German & power bloated for 9 months.

At 23 years of age, in the little Dutch island of Curacao in the Netherland Antilles, I gave birth to a screaming mass of cells who would not grow up to one day shoot me for the boat & mazda. So there he was, the half Belizean, half German kid, born on a Dutch Island then given a USA passport. Its complicated to explain why he neither has a Dutch, Belizean or German passport!

TYLER SIGI AUXILLOU LOEPER - he who has spent the last 19 years living around the world, first year on the isle of CURACAO, N.A. where he was born, thereafter moved to KENYA for some years until his mother dragged him to live in MIAMI for another two before uprooting him again for the little isle of CAYE CAULKER, BELIZE for about five more years of island living before he was back in KENYA with his father attending International Schools until he graduated last year at 18 and was heading to UNI somewhere in the world, to any of the prestigious schools he had applied to worldwide, before he decided he would rather spend a gap year in CHINA studying Mandarin before starting University.

I am proud to say that Tyler is now heading to the USA from his year in CHINA (Bejing University) to start University this fall at the world elite New York University (NYU) -

As the parent letter told me, you are "among the 29.2% of the most talented and promising students from around the world"

CONGRATULATIONS TYLER!
You make me proud!
xox Love Mom

IN TRANSIT VIDEO - CAYE CAULKER

2010-07-14T10:51:00.000-07:00

LOBSTERFEST 2010 FINALLY

2010-07-14T08:12:00.000-07:00

The Lobsterfest which was originally postponed because of Tropical Storm Alex, finally had a chance to happen this past weekend. The festivities were almost cancelled again after a few thunder & lightening rain storms passed over in squalls lasting only a few hours.

In between the rainstorms, the sun would shine the brightest I've ever seen making the freshly washed leaves of the trees green, gleam as if lacquered in the sunlight.

AquaBoy & I decided to just watch the festivities from the dock at Frenchies Diving (info@frenchiesdivingbelize.com) which gave us a birds eye view of passers-by.

We dodged the drinking to lay low, bigger things are happening soon and we prefer to be on anxious stand-by before celebrating.

Lionardo DiCaprio & Four Seasons, my new neighbors a few miles North

2010-07-09T11:23:00.000-07:00

http://www.luxurylivingint.com/blog/best-of-travel/dicaprio-joins-with-four-seasons-at-blackadore-caye/

FAMILY

2010-07-02T11:34:00.000-07:00

I just came across this photo of my grandparents and their children (minus 1), who lived all their lives on Caye Caulker and raised 9 children including my mother, second from left standing.

This photo of the Alamina Clan, is probably taken sometime around 1960.

CASHEW WINE, TROPICAL STORM ALEX & LOBSTERFEST ALL IN ONE DAY

2010-06-26T16:48:00.001-07:00

This is Lobsterfest weekend, the biggest 3 day party on Caye Caulker every year, looks like it will not be jumping off this time due to a little inconvenient weather.

Aquaboy told me earlier this month, that his grandparents and the old folks of the island always talked about a ferocious wind & rain storm that would come the last week of June every year and they call it San Pablo or something like that to refer to the phenomenon.................... so I am here listening to him proclaim the "I told you so's".

Well, the island and most of the country is sitting in an eerie calm, the eye of the storm with wind gusts up to 65 miles an hour expected in some instances to breeze us up in the next couple hours or so from Tropical Storm Alex which is now bearing down on Belize.

OK! So the Lobsterfest is cancelled, naturally - NEMO (National Emergency Management Organization) has already sounded the alarm hours ago, on the radio....where ever..., and for the islanders here, it was the sound of the alarm going off on the two new fire trucks we acquired less than a year ago since the little Republic of Caye Caulker hardly listens to the radio, read the local papers, watch news - dis-associating ourselves from the regular tragic news of mainland as much as possible.

A lot of people hopped on the boat yesterday, heading towards our little island with high hopes that TS ALEX was going to somehow miss us completely and the sun would still shine and the big fiesta weekend would not be interrupted by a little sporadic rain. That's how optimistic we are as locals.

Local: "If it is not a category 5 hurricane, I'm not even going to get fussed"

CASHEW WINE AT STORM TIME
So with the rain showers pouring over grey skies & wind gusts more knots that I have felt in a little while, I sit here with AQUABOY on the veranda soaking it all in.....literally.

We test the Cashew Wine fermenting in the full 20 gallon in storage, which we picked up in Crooked Tree from Tree & Vee about six weeks ago .

Every time we visit Tree and Vee in Crooked Tree, they make sure we leave with something local from the village in hand. Previous trips we got ducunu prepared from scratch with the corn being picked & scraped and blended before our eyes, fresh from the field in the backyard, fresh fish from the pond a few yards away. Vee made sure I had a bag full of tambran and a big jar of Soupa fresh from the pot to take home. The last visit a few weeks ago, well, that is where all that Cashew wine came from which I am drinking and which somehow inspired me along with TS ALEX to start writing again, after a few months hiatus, for no particular reason other than I was sitting contented and happy and didn't feel the need.

COCONUT WINE FOR LOBSTERFEST
AquaBoy starts reminiscing about a Lobsterfest sometime back when he said REGGAE BOY somehow managed to volunteer them to donate Coconut wine towards the Lobsterfest.

He said, that he had no knowledge on how to make wine but ReggaeBoy insisted it was nothing hard at all.

He said that they had a few months before Lobsterfest to prepare the batch so they gathered a bunch of young fresh coconuts from the trees and scoured the few grocery stores looking for empty pig tail buckets in which to store the wine concoction.

He said they poured the coconut water in the buckets along with sugar and left them to ferment for the two months leading up to the event and on the day the Fest started, they delivered the wine to the bar stall.

He said that later after they went home to shower and dress for the evening that they realized that none of them had sampled the wine prior to delivery and decided to head back to the stall to sample the batch early before the crowds arrive.

He said that as they sipped the wine they were served, they realized that it had not fermented as they would have imagined and did not have any kind of strength that would qualify it as wine, more like Coconut Juice so he said that they had to run to the store and buy a few bottles of extra strong rum to secretly mix with the wine batch to make it at all believable.

He said that a lot of people got drunk off the Coconut wine which was very popular at the LobsterFest of yesteryear.

FRENCHIES DIVING Camp & Dive Trip BEST! info@frenchiesdivingbelize.com

2010-04-08T11:24:00.000-07:00

If you are planning several days of diving in Belize, especially to the outer islands at Half Moon Caye, Lighthouse Reef or Turneffe, then this overnight trip is the trip you are looking for. Why commute for hours in a day to the Blue Hole and back when you can leisurely dive on the way to your camp site for the night, eat a delicious meal with friends under the stars and the following morning, after breakfast, head over to the Blue Hole which is only then 20 mins away for your first dive of the day before heading back to Caye Caulker.

This is one of the most adventurous and enjoyable dive experience I have ever had!

Celebrating St. Patricks Day on Caye Caulker

2010-03-18T15:38:00.000-07:00

Well it isn't often that we need an excuse to celebrate on Caye Caulker, hell we will celebrate even St. Patricks Day when I can't think of one Irish man, woman or child present on this teeny little island.

Oceanside had a packed crowd for the night with most people wearing silly little green hats and such - See for yourself how no one else in the country of Belize had a bigger St. Patties party than Oceanside on Caye Caulker.

ROOSTER CROW

2010-02-17T08:49:00.000-08:00

My friend was telling me about the neighbors Rooster which starts crowing long before the sun intends to rise. He couldn't sleep many a nights and went to talk to the neighbor about getting rid of the Rooster.

The neighbor is offended, says in the old days that families not only had Roosters, Chickens, Pigs & Deer; but an assorted selection of animals was normal as food for the family and he will not get rid of the Rooster until it is time for him to go into the oven.

My friend contemplated shooting the Rooster dead. He contemplated ringing its neck, making a stew, but he knew the neighbor would be suspicious of him if the Rooster disappeared.

My friend concocted another scheme to get rid of the Rooster. He asked another friend to go to the neighbor and express deep interest in buying the Rooster, he even offered way more than the Rooster is worth; a full $50.00 bz. The neighbor sold my friends friend the Rooster and he thought all was well until..........

A few days later the neighbor returned from Belize City where he had spent the $50.00 wisely by investing in another 10 small Roosters. My friend is now considering moving from the neighborhood.

LEARNING HOW TO BEAT A DRUM IN GALES POINT

2010-02-17T06:45:00.000-08:00

WATER SPORTS CENTER OF CAYE CAULKER

2010-02-13T04:01:00.000-08:00

The Water Sports Center is located close to Caye Reef Condo's on the main drag of Caye Caulker heading towards the Split. They offer a wide variety of water sports at reasonable rates.

These guys can be seen most days kite-surfing as long as the wind is favorable. On calm days, one is more inclined to water ski which is exactly what I did.

I managed to get up and ski even after a 15 years lapse & I have the pictures to prove it!! At the age of 42, all I could think of was please don't break some bones here baby girl, you have no health insurance.

(Ski photos - courtesy of Tania Zorilla Gonzalez)

RAPPELLING THE BLACK HOLE, CAVES BRANCH - BELIZE

2010-02-11T17:49:00.000-08:00

My honey and I headed into the jungle of Belize towards Cave's Branch Lodge for some R&R which was accomplished.
We chose the fabulous delux tree house ($225 USD nite) which overlooks the jungle and stream below. I particularly liked the open concept plan.

We swam by the pool and drank rum punch listening to the sounds of the jungle and swimming in the stream.
The following day, we awoke with vigor to the sounds of howler monkeys in the distance then chose the Rapelling Tour which includes hiking for an hour and a half each way. After hiking through the trails deep in the jungle, through citrus groves and rocky ledges, we rapelled off a steep cliff, 300 feet into the Black Hole where we ate lunch among the mystical caves before venturing out by hiking back up to the trail. ($155 USD Tour)

Caves Branch offers a variety of jungle adventures from Rapelling to Zip Lining, Cave Tubing etc. and is a great place to stay for honeymooners or families alike.

EVERYONE HAS A SURVIVAL STRATEGY

2010-02-07T13:35:00.000-08:00

Opportunities have always presented themselves on these tourist islands in the form of local Mandingo's and foreign Sponsors & I talk about it plenty because it is so prevalent on my little island. In many ways, it is a match made in heaven for both parties. The lonely older tourist (this whole story applies with an older man/younger local woman scenario too) who hasn't been told how beautiful and generous he/she is for the longest time back in home country & the impovrished Third World boy or girl hoping for a better life.

A Mandingo once confessed to me that he got his Sponsor to spend a lot of money on him just by constantly inflating her ego and telling her to not be afraid to spend and show these people that she earns pounds and is smart and successful.

He also confessed that in the Mandingo trade, it is useful to acquire a small puppy which they will fall in love with mutually, a few days prior to Sponsor's departure. That way, he shamelessly admits the secrets of his trade, weekly conversations will always center around something or other that is wrong with the dog and why a western union transfer is necessary to take the dog to the vet, be it a pitbull attacked him or he swallowed a ball.

So Sponsors come here and get more attention than they can handle and fill their quota of love attention to last a few months. They walk around in a perpetual blush with rosy cheeks and floating on air and everybody seems happy. Both parties are usually aware of the sweet nothings (meaningless bullshit) being whispered.

I have even considered different ways on how to market this growing phenomenon to the target consumer as I think it could be big business.

Mandingo's job is to make sure just about every unaccompanied female gets complimented on a regular basis as she goes up and down the one main street of Caye Caulker on her way to anywhere on the island. Mandingo's lean on light posts, fences or coconut trunks lining the roadside; dishing compliments all day long; some women buy into it.

The strategy for Mandingos, they know, is in the high number of compliments dished out by the hour which raises their chances of finding a sponsor for the week.

For a Mandingo to reach the pinnacle of his success, his goal he is working for, that would be that one of the foreign women would actually fall in love with them , marry and take them back to First World where they will reach the cities paved with gold.

In some cases, Mandingo's dream would not materialize and the Sponsor has found an easier way to get residency in Belize than all the usual red tape and expenses. These type marriages never last as Mandingo quickly resumes what he is accustomed to, still trying to reach his goal of going abroad.

So my friend was just telling me about one such Mandingo-Sponsor quickie wedding he recently attended here on the island under beautiful palm trees with the turquoise seas as a backdrop.

My stomach was in knots and cramped from laughing by the time he finished telling me about the evening. Keep in mind that Mandingos are usually reared in the slums of Belize city from areas with names like Ghost town; where they have been abandoned by their mothers who are in First World and were supposed to come back and get them - like twenty years ago. So forgotten with ailing grandma, they are usually uneducated which would include perhaps the entire family on this status which usually makes for raw ignorant conversations, poverty definitely an issue etc. These foreigners & love exchanges present new possibilities - I'm not here to judge anyone BTW, I'm just setting the scene for the story.

The wedding went of beautiful enough and now it was time for the toast. The Sponsor bride had her parents present for this dream Caribbean wedding. She by now, is one step closer to being disinherited.

The Groom gives his speech first while his blushing bride sits next to him. He proceeds to talk about all the other foreign girls he almost had a chance to go to foreign with, one by one naming them and asking his relatives if they remember the near misses, and how grateful he is that this one finally stuck by him.

Groom: "I want to thank my bride for marrying me and taking me away with her to foreign because people, I have really tried to go away as you know, with Sheila, Lucy & Thelma and none of those other realtionships had worked out"

The poor, ignorant but proud Uncle stands to give his speech.

Uncle: "I want to thank this lovely bride for giving my nephew the opportunity and help he needs to get a VISA!"

The old grandmother who raised Mandingo gets up to utter a few words to the newly wed couple.

Grandma: "I hope you two do a lot of juking & juking; because I want to see some young beige ones soon"

The brides parent's sit there horrified to hear his family elated about him getting the chance to leave Belize and become their burden.

SECURITY CAMERAS - A NEW TREND ON CAYE CAULKER

2010-02-07T13:07:00.000-08:00

Even on peaceful small islands like Caye Caulker with a population of 2000 and growing fast, petty crimes have always existed, but is now on the rise. With growing tourism on Caye Caulker comes growing crime. Where there are easy thief victims, the predators will follow. Tourists come and quickly relax with the laid back vibe, forget the handbag on the beach while they take a swim and find their wallet and camera missing when they get back for example.

Recently, Tina's Hostel which is 100 yards from the Police Station, has been hit with a crime spree by more than one individual, to the point that we could expect to be robbed every Friday and Saturday night since December. This has been terrible for business as one would imagine. This forced me to make the necessary investment to install security cameras since the individuals had been going un-detected even by all the guests who are usually up and partying into the wee hours of the morning.

The camera's were only installed yesterday and you know what??? WE GOT OUR FIRST RAT IN THE TRAP!!!! Here is the thief who is currently sitting in jail charged for theft - Hip, Hip, Hurray!

The damn stray dog who uses the couch to sleep at night actually seemed to open his eyes to see who is coming in, but the lazy bastard didn't even make a snarl.

We always think we know all the thieves, but then again with so many new faces arriving weekly, we have lost track of who is a tourist, who is a local and who is just here to burglarize for the weekend.

If you can afford the to make the investment for camera's, please do it. We need to get these vermins off the streets.

FULL MOON MUSIC CRUISE

2010-01-31T06:41:00.000-08:00

We get excited about full moon around here on the islands, so we would flock to the Split to watch the big round sun set in the horizon to the West and from the very Split, we can also watch the Moon rise to the East, except there was no big round sun setting today, it was shrouded behind the dark clouds threatening rain. Nevertheless, the heavens spared us, and we boarded Ras Creek's Heritage Cruise boat for our Full Moon ride to the back of the island.

Various musicians hanging around the Split were invited to join us on board. We already had several drums and drummers, but with LK the musician carting around his handy guitar, and another Belizean artist singer/composer in our midst, we took the entourage of musicians & friends on board hoping to create the euphoric feeling of fusion, melding and meshing music & moon, sea & stars, friends & food, drinks & drums under the first majestic full moon of 2010.

TRIBAL SPEAR JUNGLE SHOOT

2010-01-23T15:57:00.000-08:00

My super buddy Josh, the artist who decked out the outside of Tina's Hostel last year, is back! This time Josh brought down some more people from his First World Tribe - little sis Cannan and her boyfriend Rob.

Josh is launching his clothing line called Tribal Spears Artwear. He brought down some of his clothing, so we headed into the jungle of Belize - Cayo District to do a shoot for his website.

His family of artists who dub themselves the Fishtafarian Tribe was featured in a show called Spanish Fly on ESPN2 all of January. The show which incorporates art & fishing will air again on ESPN2 on March 28 at 9:30 a.m.
Here is a link for more info.
http://www.josewejebe.com/spanishflytv_schedule.php

Marcos Dread, another dear artist friend lives in the jungle at the edge of the river in Bullet Tree. We hit up some ruins, rivers, falls and such as you do in the jungle when you want to have some adventure and a good time.

Here are some of the pics from the amateur photog

SUNDAY FUNDAY ABOARD 42 FT CAT HIPSWAY

2009-12-27T16:07:00.000-08:00

Christmas Day 2009 Caye Caulker

2009-12-26T11:24:00.000-08:00

Just another day in Paradise.
Not much hoop or hoopla but still and always a lot of fun.

SWINE FLU EXPRESS

2009-12-23T20:20:00.001-08:00

On our way to the Kings Children Home, we passed this unlucky pig on the highway. Poor pig is bound to be Christmas Dinner and could end up like the other unlucky pig hung up to slow roast below.

Coco Loco dubbed it the "Swine Flu Express"

Mr. Dole on his way to collect his Karma Armour by joining us on the fun mission to take gifts for the kids at the home.

Heading off island on our way to Belize City.

KINGS CHILDREN HOME - BELMOPAN, BELIZE NEEDS YOUR HELP

2009-12-23T18:42:00.000-08:00

Big H. decided that he wanted to join the "collecting good karma" tour with Coco Loco & I and offered to drive us up to Belmopan, & thereafter overnight in San Ignacio.

Coco Loco and I had already bought most of the sale stock from Toucan Gift Shop on Caye Caulker and we wanted to bring a little island vibe to the 38 children at the King Children Home of Belize.
We stocked up on shoes, clothing, toiletries, toys etc. to bring a little sunshine to them since we figured they don't go shopping often or at all.

The KINGS CHILDREN HOME is the second oldest Children's Home in Belize. It is run by Mrs. Leonie Gillham (leonieehg@yahoo.com). Mrs. Gillham had help start the Laguna Childrens Home in 1982, but that home has since closed down. The Mel Holland Children's Home was also closed down last year.

The oldest Children's Home in Belize is the Dorothy Menzies Home and the most recent Children's Homes are the Marla Hanna's Childrens Home and the Liberty Children's Home.

While all of the Children's Homes in Belize are struggling financially, some get more attention than others with fund raising efforts.

Ms. Gillham says that the Government of Belize only assists with $1000 (Belizean dollars ) a month!

The Children at the Kings Children Home range from infant to 18 years old and are abandoned or abused children.

If anyone is willing to help this home, please contact Ms. Gillham at her email provided above.

Little David latched on to me from the moment I arrived and it was really hard to leave him behind, he was so adorable!

CRAB CLAWS ANYONE?

2009-12-23T17:29:00.000-08:00

I had to stop and take a picture of the fisherman Gabino with his monster crab catch of the day.

CAYE CONVERSATION

2009-12-21T21:45:00.000-08:00

The owner of Frenchies Dive Shop on the island was telling me about his recent trip to the Blue Hole.

He says, well you know that here on Caye Caulker we cater to a wide variety of nationalities which always makes for an interesting international mix.

On the way back from the Blue Hole, one of the divers had urgent need for relief and asked the captain to slow the boat down so he could go off the back of the boat by the engines to seek this relief.

While the boat cruised for a few minutes at slow speed, an impatient diver on board eager to get home yelled to the guy whizzing off the back:

"HEY! YOU FINISH?"

The diver taking the whizz turns backwards and yells back at the guy:

"NO I'M DUTCH"

HAPPY HOLIDAYS E V E R Y B O D Y !!!

2009-12-21T21:09:00.000-08:00

Happy Greetings from Caye Caulker, Belize.

Collecting Good Karma in Bad Weather

2009-12-21T20:36:00.000-08:00

Christiane & I are on a mission to collect good karma so we organized a Christmas party for about 50 people on the roof top at Tina's Annex.

We spent the day before setting up the Christmas lights and a big tarp (just in case it rained) and then spent most of the following day - day of the party, setting up the tarp again, which had been ripped by the strong gusts during the night. None of the 15 or so- $38.95 rope lights we bought at the Chinese store worked the next day after the big rainstorm. More lights, more stringing, last minute arrangements and before it was even show time - the heavens opened up, the monsoons gathered, the dark clouds lingered and the incessant rain drops fell throughout the day & night.

Patrons who had bought tickets were not easily discouraged & showed up despite the heavy rain storm for the good food. All and the dishes that were given by generous donors were quickly devoured. We kept putting out more dishes and just as quickly they dissappeared. The bar kept busy.

Needless to say, the night turned out successful despite the fact that JAH didn't listen to our pleas for good weather.

All together we raised a little money to help with school books for the kids and a little will be given to the fire victims and a few hundred to Chocolate to help clean the North Side park.

To all who donated towards this fund raiser, a big THANK YOU.

NOT EXACTLY COUGARS, JUST SOME HARMLESS KITTIES

2009-12-14T12:04:00.001-08:00

This photo wasn't taken in the Belizean Rainforest, and those aren't big cats ready to pounce on a helpless prey......really!

It's just another caribe isle where the creatures tend to display similar behaviours to our animal friends in the wild.

The girls and I were just talking about how the view from our verandah here keeps improving.
The view facing Tina's Hostel to the North takes first place today over the East which tends to win most days.

CHANGES IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD

2009-12-10T11:58:00.001-08:00

I was looking out from my new view on the verandah two buildings down from the hostel, but in the same Auxillou compound, and noticed the two palm trees out front, bare and naked, roots exposed to the lapping salty waves .

I knew it wouldn't be long before the sea would claim them, I've seen it happen before. One Norther and the tree would be horizontal in the water. The beach out front was filled about 50 feet out in a land reclamation project done back in 2002. That 50 ft is all but gone now with erosion over the years by several tropical storms, beach rake up everyday and other factors.

I had the bright idea to save the trees & beach and reacted by putting up a seawall within 24 hours. I couldn't see the point in cutting through red tape to accomplish what I had set out to do.

I thought about putting some wooden boxes around the trees to save them, then the idea got a little bigger and I figured a little seawall around them both which would help with the erosion, before the biggest idea hit me: paint a nice big sign on the sea wall which can be seen by both water taxi boats whizzing by.

This is where the talent came in at the right time and the hostel is never

short of artists, I love them.

Karen, a guest at the hostel said she had a day off and was willing to touch up my old signs. I gave her free reign to do anything she wanted with the left over paints in the bodega and she did a great job. Thank you Karen.

I can watch movies now, on the big screen over at Paradiso Bar & Rest. Twice a week the latest movies are shown and I don't have to leave the chair on the verandah.

My friend new roomate is here, Christiane and she loves to cook healthy food. God Bless her is all I can say. My sis Diane wastes no time in jumping the balcony from her unit next door to devour some of the goodness.

PINCHE TULUM, MEXICO - ME GUSTA!

2009-12-08T09:39:00.000-08:00

Coco Loco was flying in to Cancun on a dreaded 13 hour direct flight from Frankfurt. She wanted to spend a few days visiting old friends in Tulum where she has spent months at a time over the past years. She loves Belize and has been coming since 1996, sometimes for extended periods. 1996 was the same year I returned home to Caye Caulker after being away for about 14 years. We became instant friends.

We opted to miss La Ruinas de Tulum since both had been there several times before. Coco Loco invited me to meet her in Tulum where she had already coordinated with her friends living there, to have a weekend filled with dancing under the moon by night and lounging on the beach under the sun by day, local style. I really did not need any convincing, it was exactly what I needed since I have a hard time doing exactly that in Belize.

What I instantly loved about Tulum besides how easy it is to get there from Belize in a day, is the low cost & the spectacular beaches with the bonus being the mix of international artists who live there part of the year. This is a Bohemian & Cosmopolitan town mixed together and it's much more hip than Cancun could ever be.

Among the group of friends I hung out with this weekend, is Coco Loco, my dear friend the German Jewellery designer, Andy the clothing designer from Seattle, Natalie, the French masseuse who travels with and works for Cirque del Soleil when they are on tour, two more Germans Michaela & Rene, who operate the best little secret breakfast nook in the city, AZAFRAN on Satelite St. which attracts the local ex-pat artists & cool people of Tulum. If you stop by, tell them Tina sent you.

Restaurant AZAFRAN opens 7:00 a.m. until 3:00 p.m. in the afternoon. Michaela & Rene have spent more years in Tulum than they have in Germany and know everybody. They serve a very healthy menu, but I found myself gravitated towards the "hangover special" of heavy eggs, bacon, potatoes, most mornings. Don't forget to ask for the Chaya juice, it's healthy & delicious.

To round off the mix in the group which includes this Belizean , was Tanya, a smart beautiful Mexican girl who works for the City of Tulum. After sitting around various little restaurants, whether it was the French- Le Bistro off a side street from the calle principal in Tulum Pueblo eating fine french cuisine and drinking red wine, or the Poor Man's Taco Grill on the same main drag, which serves the tastiest tacos in town, the group's conversation would switch between French, German, English & Spanish. Tanya kept saying "Hey, let's choose one language here" and the conversation would revert to Spanish which was the common language we all shared. Tanya, the Mexican turned to me with a smile and said, "Tina girl, we are the minority here".

What I learned is that the little Pueblo of Tulum is now TULUM CITY since a year and a half having met the population requirement of 20,000 to become a city. According to Tanya and Michaela who have lived there over 20 years, nobody who lives there has the mentality that it is a city. She said after it was turned into a city, they named most of the streets after different consolations. If you give a cab driver a street address, he will most likely not know where you want to go. The houses and hotels have no numbers. Tanya says you still have to give a point of reference to get to where you are going in most cabs. For example: "I need to go to the tortilleria shop next to the Comex block factory."

If you stay in Tulum, I recommend the reasonable, clean & comfortable Villa Matisse across from restaurant Azafran on Satelite St. in the pueblo 400 pesos. A nice little court yard and free breakfast. Next choice is the Diamante Hotel on the Playa which has the best views of the beach - 500 pesos a night. Villa Matisse offers free bicycle to ride around the pueblo or the seven kilometers to the beach which we did and was easy and fun.

Thursday night has a live Salsa band in the pueblo on the main strip, the name escapes me now, just walk the main drag in Pueblo until you hear the sweet sounds of the salsa music. Friday night the happening spot is the fabulous Mezzanine Bar set on big balcony's facing the ocean with a more house music vibe & singer, Sunday nights are a must at La Zebra bar for live salsa music and dancing under the moon again!

SOCIALIZING WITH THE MOVERS & SHAKERS OF BELIZE

2009-12-03T07:09:00.000-08:00

PRIME MINISTER OF BELIZE Hon. Dean Barrow.
Last Night was the 24th AGM of BTIA, cocktail party was held at the Radisson in Belize. The room was filled with some of the most powerful & influential people of our country.

My sister Diane, PM, Me.

Sari Vidrine - La Pearla del Caribe - Ambergris Caye, Jim Scott, CEO Radisson Hotel.
Sandra Van Noord & husband from Portofino Resort '- Ambergris Caye - Julie.

Hon. Manuel Heredia, Minister of Tourism

Nigel - Head of the Film Commission of Belize.

Michael Singh - CEO BTB, Diane Auxillou, Sailwinds Suites, Steve Shulte - Tropic Air

Dionne Chamberlain, President BTIA

WINTER TOURIST SEASON IS HERE & LOCALS ARE REJOICING!

2009-11-29T08:30:00.000-08:00

Every year, tourism industry partners suffer through the slow months of September/October/November in Belize. This year has been particularly hard on tourism on the island with the threat of Swine Flu, Economic Crisis, rainy weather etc.

Just after Thanksgiving usually kick starts the long awaited lucrative Winter tourist season for us here on Caye Caulker and the next four months are when we are busiest.
I am happy to report that arrivals are starting to look promising for a good season.

My friend Cecelia Chamer (center) of Palmetto Bay Plantation Resort in Roatan, showed up two days ago to surprise me. It is the time of year when old friends start dropping by which I always love & look forward to. Rob (right) & Chicago Dan (left) are here again, repeat visitors & fans of Caye Caulker.

Caye Caulker gets its fair share of major & minor celebrities, T.V. personalities, politicians, sports starts etc. for a little speck of sand and palm trees in Central America.

In this picture, T.V. personality - 10 year veteran News Anchor Rob Williams for CINCINNATI- FOX19 (WXIX-TV). Rob also played a minor role in the 2009 Movie -THE GREAT BUCK HOWARD starring Tom Hanks & John Malkovich.

(Rob & Co-Anchor Shiela - Fox Photo)

So with the kick start of the new season, cool people are heading to our little village, & the winter birds are already here.

(Cecelia, O.J., Ellen)

TRACI'S LUCKY HORSE EYE NECKLACE $19.95

2009-11-14T09:30:00.000-08:00

"You are not wearing your lucky seed necklace girl, get yourself one quick, fast & hurry!"

So Traci, who makes hand made jewellery & often seen at her stall on front Street beach near the Rainbow restaurant, currently has a nice selection of lucky seed necklace on stock.

This seed found washed up all along our coastline is locally known as HORSE EYE bean from the Mucuna Species and the scientific name is Mucuna Solanei from the botannical family Fabaceae (Pea). Native plant of Hawaii, Puerto Rico & Florida. This plant is now widely distributed worldwide in temperate and tropical climates of South America, Central America, The Caribbean and Africa.

The ancient Ayurveda Indian and Chinese system of traditional medicine used Mucuna Pruriens for the treatment of stress, male sexual disorders, aging and general suceptability to infections. Other traditional herbal uses include aphrodisiac and nerve tonic.

Locals believe it to be a blessed seed which brings you luck.

Forget the visit to the vodoo woman, forget years of therapy sessions, come to Caye Caulker to get your lucky seed & change your health, your luck & your life. ..........haha

After Traci gave me mine, things have been looking up. I just moved into my new beach suite with this spectacular view & the future looks as bright as the morning sun, when having coffee on the verandah at 6:00 am.

TRACI SAYS about her Horse Eye Jewellery

"LIFE TIME WARRANTY: imagine the rumble & tumble it takes a seed to crash land on our shores & cross our barrier reef in stormy bad weather.....

that piece of jewellery is built to last!

CAYE CAULKER ISLAND FASHION

2009-11-03T17:54:00.001-08:00

One of a kind original
Palm frond Bikini
ONLY $19.95 plus shipping & handling!

I am not sure exactly what makes tourists go wild at the Split Bar on Caye Caulker, but they do on a regular basis.

Full Moon only brings out more madness.

When the inevitable day comes (hopefully not too soon) where this little broken beach bar is torn down to make way for a new concrete fancy one which will no doubt lose the charm, well......, all we will have then are these good memories and photos.....

Mandingo, the designer and tourist as model.

SOCIALIZING IN BELIZE CITY CAN BE FUN

2009-10-31T15:19:00.000-07:00

In my house, the domestic pressure cooker does not whistle or have any loud shrill alarm, there is no meat marinating in the kitchen sadly & ends-of-day demands are no more taxing than it was all day. I have no one to boil over and bicker with in the evenings thankfully, so leaving the crib for a night out on the town can sometimes feel like a big effort & usually have the attitude "it better be worth it" before I can even inch my way off the island. The Image Factory Art Show of Jia Chang Wu & riverside reception was a breath of fresh air to a usually barefeet islandgirl who is a little bored of sitting around a beach bar.

As usual, it was about 3:30 p.m when I got the call from my friend, Tania Zorilla, a digital artist herself, asking if we were going to attend. Decision time for two notorious procrastinators who spend a great deal of time in a horizontal position, on a computer, where we have managed to skillfully & seperately combine relaxation, work & socializing, without having to go very far from the crib. Plus, I have finally reached a point in my life where I like my own company! We had been discussing the idea of going all week after receiving the invitation. A last minute decision is the best we could do towards any commitment, on any given event we plan to attend and talk about for days.

The Artist, Jia Wu

Water Taxi to the City.
So, Within 3o minutes, we made our reservation at the Luxe Radisson Hotel, the best & most comfortable hotel in all of Belize city & had packed & seated for the take off of the 4:15 pm water taxi from the caye heading to the city. Shyne or Moses as his new Jewish name, the rap artist and son of the Prime Minister, who was recently deported back to Belize, is reportedly relaxing and has the entire top floor above us booked. He was the one who ran into trouble while hanging out with Jennifer Lopez and P. Diddy.

I ran into my friend and art aficionado herself Ms. Karen Vernon, later on in the evening after the gallery reception, at the Travellers Bar up the Northern Highway.

The evening was surreal & great to reconnect with old Belizean friends, plus.... it has been a long time since I have worn high heels & it feels good.

The reception and setting was just perfect and we drank red wine at the water's edge under the moonlight making interesting new friends and seeing old ones!
My nephew Justin Kuylen and his girlfriend Jacinta Gomez, & Bill the once peace corps volunteer to Belize, who is now back in Belize to stay. (Curator of Image Factory)

Well known Belize Photographer Richard Holder.

It was the romantic kind of setting of a cocktail party at the mouth of the Belize River, entrance to the main hub of our country & where all the fishing boats came to harbor to offload their catch.

The Image Factory overlooks the Bliss Institute of Cultural Arts on the other side of the river a few minutes away over the antique Swing Bridge.

Image Factory does one art exhibit every two months. You can learn about new artists ane exhibits by becoming a fan of Image Factory on facebook.

BELIZE MEDICAL COLLEGE STAFF VISIT TINA'S HOSTEL

2009-10-25T17:51:00.000-07:00

My friend Twinzy & colleagues visited the hostel & Caye Caulker today on her Staff trip.

Poor Mr. Chun, they teased him all day that he had to lie to his wife and tell her he was going to church to be able to come on the day trip. He had a bible in one pocket, and a flask of rum in the other. He had his beach shorts and tank top hidden under his church wear.

WELCOME TO CAYE COOKOO, Happy Tequila to you!

2009-10-18T21:57:00.000-07:00

There we were at the run down Split Bar, a couple island girls minding their own business and enjoying one barrel rum & the scenery of youthful hard bodies on delicious looking young men, perched like seagulls on the broken cement sea wall.
Here we were trying to pass the slow season in good spirits with close friends, when they arrived! Loud & boisterous big spenders: fruity rum punch women drinkers accompanied by beer guzzling men in heat, here visiting from beloved sister island.

On this day, we were caught in the middle of imported madness once again, as is the norm for decades, when the "First World educated type" come from our neighboring high end island to get jiggy with it. They pull ashore on the odd weekend, or on day tours in their fancy boat, to our reggage inspired, rustic, broken down, rasta inspired (some of the patrons themselves match the description of the bar) little beach bar at the Split, spilling out of their boats excitedly to mingle with our laid back tribe. Most important for us, beside the fact that we want you to enjoy yourselves, is that you are spending money & helping the island's econmy, leave something positive behind!

We heard the Texans coming before we could see them turn the bend by the mangrove to the West of the Split. They tied up on the fallen tree stump at the edge of the jagged sea weed shoreline & got off the boat, swaggering & talking loudly so that everyone at the bar 60 yards away could hear. We were already looking anyway & everyone there already knew what type of an afternoon to anticipate. They did not disappoint.

With the lively athmosphere at the Split - already filled with young, educated, goodlooking backpackers, great Caribbean music. accompanied by azure waters, puffy white clouds & happy hour - we're positive the First worlders sensed they had arrived at the place they can let it all hang out and they were right.

Hell, the Caye Caulker Split is well known globally & has become legendary, not necessarily because of the locals, the scenery, but for the feeling of feeling free in the Caribbean! There are times when the locals themselves are the tourist attraction, so its nice when others show up to entertain us.

We typically live our lives on this island feeling a little caged, while we let those who pass through our zoo run free & wild. I'm not saying we are angels here, creatures have a way of adapting to their changing environment and every now and again, the animal in us is set free, even in the cage under prying eyes.

Some consider themselves missionary-like who come to Caye CooKoo to teach us "Third World primitives" as we were recently called in International News regarding the incident at UCLA, how to behave in First World...LOL.

The lesson of this day?
How to do body shots!

Texans: (Shouting at the Bar): "Let the Texan's show Ya'all how we do it back in Texas!!"

Texan to Local: "Come here little girl, want to have a belly shot?
Come on try it, you'll like it!"

Texans: "YeeHaaawwwww"
(whenever someone downed another shot from another orifice or crack)

Locals: "YeeHaaaawwww.....(yawn)" seen it too many times before and not just from the Texans.

Other First World Wives of ex-pats, living on sister island (especially those whose husbands spend all their free time in bars drinking), come to Caye Caulker to do their debauchery as well. They happily find Caye Cookoo's Mandingos to fill their otherwise boring free time with. So as not to lose their up-standing positions in their status driven island community, they gladly travel the 1/2 hour by water taxi, as there is an entirely different culture to be found here.

"Come to Caye Caulker & set yourself Free!"
Expect...the coconut wireless! Nothing much misses the eyes or ears in these small rumor rampant little Caribe isles off the coast of Belize. Anyway, as long as you are not breaking the law, SPEND LOTS OF MONEY to help our local economy (especially in this slowest of slow seasons) -> YES, that makes some of the madness more tolerable.

Well it's your world, we just trying to survive in it.

Come Enjoy Caye Caulker!

Belizeans love to Dance

2009-10-05T17:30:00.000-07:00

We Belizeans like to just enjoy our Caribbean Music & DANCE, especially with nice sunsets, full moon, good friends. Every now and again we bruk-out, for no reason other than its fun, fun.

BEWARE OF CAGED MONKEYS

2009-09-03T16:26:00.000-07:00

Island life has great benefits, but also its drawbacks, one of them is feeling like a caged monkey which reminds me of some of the Caribbean stories I hear.

Texan, who we met at the revolution party in July & ended up sailing with SeaFox down to Rio Dulce after I jumped ship in Roatan, likes to tell this story of the days when he was running a restaurant on another Caribbean island and his mis-adventures with Smokey.

At the hotel which had a nice restaurant on the water's edge, on an idyllic Caribbean isle, the owners kept a mini zoo on the property with a monkey, toucans, parrots and other small exotic animal's, who lived off the scraps from the kitchen. The animals naturally warmed up to him quickly and he was soon comfortable enough to go into the monkey's cage to fill the food bowl after meal time & "sometimes even put on a little show" he says.

On one particular occasion, Smokey, the monkey had ripped the head off a parrot and handed back to the stunned woman standing outside the cage, the remains of her pet bird's torso. This after the woman had tried to introduce her parrot to Smokey, and when Smokey stuck her hand out the cage at the bird, the woman mis-interpreted it as a friendly hand greeting gesture.

Another time he says, he was in the cage cutting up the fruits with a big butcher knife when he set it down for a moment and Smokey quickly picked it up & he was suddenly stuck in a small cage with a mad monkey swinging a sharp butchers knife.

As Legend would have it, Smokey managed to escape from his cage and was going up the dock towards the boats at the tip when Texan first heard someone yelling for him. He comes out and See's Smokey walking up the dock and calls out to him, Smokey turns around and they start walking towards each other calm enough & Texan did not think much about impending mayhem.

A hero-wannabe who was eating at the restaurant & witnessing the scene, in SuperHero speed, grabs a fish net he sees lying around the waters edge and proceeds to run up the dock past Texan towards the monkey, net wide open, with intentions to throw it over the monkey and capture it in front of the seaside dining audience and hopefully, to a hero's welcome.

The previously calm monkey walking towards Texan, suddenly becomes irate as one would expect any of us to react, if an ugly gringo was running towards you trying to capture you, so...... Smokey pulls the net out of the guy's hands, throws it in the water as the Hero Wanna-be became a flat Zero rapidly bolting down towards shore flying past Texan, who didn't know whether to look at the fleeing Zero or the charging Monkey. The commotion, then obviously caused a panic with the spectators who previously sat glued looking at the island safari experience in awe & as their food turned cold, not believing they could actually be witnessing such a raw savage encounter between man & beast.

As Smokey chases past Texan and catches up to Captain Zero, his new enemy, he bites him in the calf twice before the guy manages to escape. At this time, the temporarily frozen audience of diners on unexpected Safari, found themselves so quickly in the walk in freezer trying to flee the angry menacing charging monkey.

Smokey was seen leaving the area heading into town, hitching a ride on top of a car and the frightened guests were eventually let back out of the walk in freezer before they became popscicles.

Several hours later, Texan got a call to come and pick him up as he was in the vicinity.

Texan finds Smokey sitting on the hood of a car in a neighbor's yard and hoists him up to his shoulder as he seemed to have calmed down and is always hungry. He hangs on to Smokey with one hand by the waist just in case he harbored intentions of escape again.

Texan: "I can tell you monkeys like two things, eating and fu**ing " he says laughing the kind of laugh that brought tears to his eyes. This was a man clearly speaking from first hand experience & I was intrigued to get the details.

As he is taking the five minute walk back to Smokey's cage with a firm grip, Smokey starts to make himself comfortable between his fingers and whispering in his ear "UGABU" UGABU" UGABU" "which I interpreted it to mean by his ensuing actions as I LOVE YOU" he says.

As he tells it, before he could even figure out how to reposition the monkey without it going loose again, & thinking fast how to save himself from any form of being an unwilling victim of beastiality, Smokey had already orgasmed between his fingers. Texan says he was never comfortable about entering the cage alone again & risk putting on the "wrong kind of show " with Smokey. Texan eventually moved on to a few other Caribbean islands over the years before making a base on his boat at the end of the dock near Kangaroo in the RioDulce or in a fine restaurant somewhere in Roatan.

WRITE AT YOUR OWN RISK

2009-09-01T22:44:00.000-07:00

Sea Fox said I sounded a little too critical of the ex-pats in my last blog story of the Grand Opening party the other night and he has a point, they are his friends, peers & countrymen mostly and I didn't mean to embarrass him by implying ..... I also don't mean to offend anybody & defend my words as gonzo journalism and not to be taken seriously by anyone. I am solely to blame if there is any backlash. I on the other hand, don't feel that I will be running for any popularity contest anytime soon and don't see the need to be politically correct at this time, so I asked SeaFox if he could bear with me, that I am unusual in many ways and I love the rush from any shock value I can manage to create, real or imagined.

I am currently intrigued by Hunter S. Thompson's "gonzo journalism" style of reporting based on William Faulkner's idea that the best fiction is far more of the truth than any kind of journalism and the best journalists know this he says. H. S.T. believes you must participate in your story and not be afraid to tell it as you see it or live it, even if it means exposing yourself to your gut or living on the edge, which always makes for good stories if nothing else.

I wanted to go to sleep tonight at a decent hour, half pass ten or so, and was already in bed, cuddled and warm and one gag short of sub-consciously allowing my relaxed tongue to block my airwaves making for a good snore, when the sound of the helicopter blades rotating got louder and louder until my eyes were wide open by the time it was passing directly over the big beach house which sits miles on the outskirts of town where the usual sounds are crickets humming, rotation of fan blades, some days the surf crashing on the reef out front, or Lassie barking at the security golf cart which passes every hour, driven by the ex-policeman in his new position as the head of the neighborhood watch, who was dismissed from the local police force for brutally beating a prisoner in the cell while under his watch.

The helicopter hovering above, usually British Army medical personnel coming from their base in Ladyville, offers extreme emergency only pick-up service to the outer islands of Belize long after regular flights and water taxi's stop running at dark, or after some appointed local makes the call to them after having decided that the emergency was serious enough to warrant an airlift to a hospital in the city. All this noise made me conclude prematurely, that that rotating blade sound at this hour only means bad news, & we are too far out of town or too late to call and bother anybody to get the scoop on the Coconut Wireless tonight.

So the helicopter and Hunter S. T. combined, rustled me out of bed & to the computer here now wondering as I type, if I could be so brave as he HST, the famous writer, to speak of his life, habits & craziness with such openness and honesty. If I could really write like him, then I would tell the truth as to why I felt so uncomfortable sitting in the Police Station today in San Pedro for an hour or so in the visitor's section of the station while SeaFox was allowed behind the counter, to stew with impatience, with all the policemen sitting around deep in personal conversation and ignoring the numerous stressed out people trying to get service at the counter or in some instances, standing right in front of their faces, who are either here to bring food to a prisoner, trying to make a report or bail a guest at Her Majesty's Motel.

A report could technically take no more than five minutes, but is normally delayed for a week or more at times, because who-so-ever you have to see will not be there again at any hour you show up. Never mind that we had been back to the station several times during the course of the week being told in the morning to come back at 4:00pm and when we go back at 4:00 pm, they tell us come back two days later at a certain hour only to be told to come back later which gets postponed again & again for no apparent reason other than the group of uniformed men and women behind that desk don't seem too enthusiastic about performing their duties in any kind of efficient or courteous manner.

I wonder if I would have the courage as HST to talk freely about the gringo with the girlfriend from Orange Walk who has her own marijuana fields patrolled by armed guards?

Or to make mockery in print about the Coast Guards boat that allegedly got stolen while our civil servants were once again not paying attention to their jobs?

Or if I could give details of Island Girl's recent one week trip around the country of Belize, him scouting locations and looking for creative juices, her, in her "un-official" capacity as tour guide hawling along with her three unruly children, & with a hallucinating writer/producer from London, a series of hysterically funny & crazy events followed, & made her dub her experience as the

"trip, Trip, TRIP!!!"

Islandgirl: "I told him, you have no reason to complain and and you should have plenty of material to write.
You got such a good tour of our country that you even know what the inside of the jail looks like."

I'm told over and over again that I should try harder to get along with everyone and really should not be so blunt in yapping to anyone who cares how I feel or what I think of a situation, place or person because mostly it won't be pretty as I have become bitter and crude and even more un-sympathetic. The next book I read will be Allan C. Weisbecker "CANT YOU GET ALONG WITH ANYONE?" which will probably keep me from getting anywhere close to the gonzo journalism style of HST that I would like to emulate.

I identify with this writer. HST will tell you without shame that he is tired of the dead-end loneliness of a man who makes his own rules, that life is too short to suffer guilt, that he is happy to get high and wild until he feels like a one ton stingray jumping from the tip of my dock across the reef half a mile out. He is also not afraid to tell you when he is feeling bitter after an event having lost his shoes, his dignity and his sanity sort of thing.

I don't know which way is left and there is no point in being right, so I will hold my breath until I see the light.

PLAYA LOUNGE - New Re-Opening in San Pedro

2009-08-30T13:38:00.000-07:00

Moi, Island Meow and Miss H & Sea Fox at the new opening of Playa Lounge on the beach at the foot of the San Pedro water taxi dock in the center of San Pedro town. New owners are brits and promise a good "English Breakfast" all day long....I dream of it on hang-over days and will be back for some.

Oh Yeah....Ms. H on the far right, well, look out for her at the Reef Radio Karaoke final's at Jaguar's Nightclub on Sept. 17th, she will be singing with her beautiful voice & no doubt will have a great performance.

So there we were, a whole bunch of people partying, some I am introduced to over and over again over the years, who go through the motions of shaking my hand "nice to meet you" as I roll my eyes & in slight disgust. They genuinely show interest at the time of introduction, I bother to answer the few personal questions and tomorrow is, as if they have never seen me before and we get introduced again. I guess when you meet certain people over and over in bars, I realistically should not expect them to remember much the morning after.

I downed a couple of the free rum punch until I couldn't stand the sweetness any longer and moved on to the mojito at Mango's restaurant, before heading back to Playa Lounge for more belikin beers, rum & cokes, drambuie and anything else I prayed would give me a buzz to deal with with the civilized looking group. Made me miss a Belizean party, shit, Belizeans are pro's at creating their own excitement when out in this volume like found at Playa Lounge on this night, at least we can be sure of some excitement in the form of debauchery, a good fist or bottle fight and some loose girls gyrating on lonely looking men. Tonight here - No such luck, looking at all the ex-patriots guzzling booze but not moving much. I ho hummed at the dullness I felt, and if I was not out with Sea Fox & Island Meow, I would have regretted coming out at all.

We headed to Fido's which only cemented the fact for me that slow season or maaga season is here. Fidos is the kind of big central palapa bar downtown, with all the tourist trappings of live music, lots of smiling staff, and normally popping. To have had fun there last night, you had to have brought your own man (which I did), your own debauchery (which I did not) or your own friends (which I did & saved the night).

So we spent the next hour at Fido's hoping a group of drunken tourists would pour in and entertain us as I had grown accustomed on past night outs here. So with maaga season here, tourists are a rare commodity these days & the night just didn't wan't to pop. I spent a lot of the time looking at the high beams reaching up 50 feet or so at the center under the tightly woven thatch and wondering if I could be as brave as crazy Leo who often scaled it to the top on the busiest of nights until he was banned, dangling high above a curious drunken crowd, pulling himself up the wide wooden beams with only the strength of an insane person and muscular lean arms, usually leaving the patrons below gawking and expecting him to fall to his death any moment. The sheer adrenaline rush of that horrible thought makes you chug your drink & to me, seemed good for business.

So I wondered if I climb that beam to the top, right here, right now on impulse, create my own adrenaline rush.
I think I could, just too chicken shit to try since I still retain a small portion of my sanity.....before I could act on that crazy idea, the group decided to move on to Tackle Box and probably saved my life.

A BAD DAY FISHING IS BETTER THAN A GOOD DAY AT WORK

2009-08-08T21:22:00.000-07:00

Message sent/replied on facebook

Arizona Militia:

"You have any work for me down in Belize or those parts Biggie?

I'll send my resume, I can do anything"

Biggie: "Come on down, I'm sure you can find mercenary work in Honduras or you can hang on my island and fish for Exotic women and snapper."

Addicted to Facebook

2009-08-02T20:38:00.000-07:00

CT, MissD & Me having late afternoon coffee here in my little corner of Tina's Hostel after sending each other messages on facebook to hook up. We live right down the street from one another.

Rain drizzling outside falling on the glass window from the grey skies as we sip warm instant coffee.

My computer sits on the table in front of us & we keep passing it around showing our facebook page, pictures etc. in between sharing funny moments of our life's experience.

...

CT: "Facebook has taken over my life!"

...

MissD's & my head nod in agreement at the same time.

ME: "I don't know how to handle all those friend requests from people I know casually, I don't want to hurt any one's feelings."

...

I am telling them how I had recently accepted a friend request from an honorable woman who I respect and met briefly through my 5 year stint on a very important and prestigious Council of Belize.

Due to my free spirit and exhibitionist & rebellious ways, much to my own detriment I know, I knew I would not be able to keep up any charade for long and buy into the whole political correctness since I have problems engaging any kind of filter - so I had resigned.

I did not want to let myself down or any of these honorable people who put so much faith in me.

So, I felt a little weird when she sent a friend request.

"You think she will still respect me after she sees my pictures on facebook?"

I am asking the girls.

Before they could answer, I snapped out of all guilty thoughts,

"OK, who really gives a shit, I'm never going to run for politics ..."

CT: "the problem with facebook is that you can't lie to anyone anymore"

...

Ha Ha..

So!

I am almost as over-exposed as Paris Hilton's snatch.

Am all over the internet, this blog, facebook, hi5, twitter.....blah...blah....

hell - I can't even remember my screen name or password for twitter & can't find my account, haven't written anything hardly, yet people keep "following"

I believe all publicity, good or bad is for the good cause of promoting ones "Brand"

I am taking THAT marketing tip from "Paris Hilton".

After all, she is making a fortune selling millions of "Paris" this or that and the perceived airhead is on to something.

So "Tina's" is my brand.

I happen to name my hotel after myself and hope it will remain strong enough to take me financially into old age.

I figured I too will use the Internet as a marketing tool. The great invention of the new millennium.

Plus, as the face of a business bearing my name,

over-exposure is a given. It gets my brand out there and people come because of the crazy stories they hear, embellished or not.

There are certain myths people have of you that you have to try and live up to, especially the ones you create about yourself on your blog just to remain infamous, but truth is always stranger than fiction I have found.

A lot of friends I have met online, have come out & stayed at the hotel since I opened my facebook account not so long ago so that is a great bonus.

Just about everyone is lost in cyberspace these days and 8 out of 10 backpackers now-a-days carry a laptop and is on facebook or blogging.

One of my friends even describes herself as a "chat whore" even though she is at home with her kids at night, another praises the benefits of cyber networking as it translates to generated business.

I am ecstatic to connect with friends on Facebook who I once thought were lost forever.

...

CT the artist, isn't having the same success with facebook and selling her amazing digital art so far.

Some of CT's creative pieces are of an erotic nature and promotional pictures of it are on her facebook photo site .

As she tells it, she is in negotiations and about to sign a contract with a contact from her webiste who wants to buy some of her non-erotic pieces she had seen. A few days later, she gets a friend request on facebook from the woman. Because they are close to closing the deal, she felt she could not decline and accepts. CT reviews the woman's profile and is nervous when she sees that she is part of a church organization. By now, she is sure, the woman has seen her semi-erotic art on facebook.

...

A day or so later says CT, she gets an email saying:

"we are rethinking the order and we are unable to purchase your art at this time,

sorry blah..blah...bullshit,

we will keep your reference on file."

...

So we are laughing about this, and laughing about how we are hooked into facebook nevertheless, good or bad.

It's like the latest soap opera and we are all bit part characters in our own little cyberville which keeps us occupied and highly entertained.

What a great way to keep friends and relatives close.

So of course, I am doing my nightly chat with Twinzy in Belize City, telling her about our facebook cravings and how it is taking over our lives.

Twinzy says: "I know -this shit is ****ing addictive!!"

COCONUTS KILL MORE PEOPLE THAN SHARKS

2009-07-24T10:42:00.001-07:00

I remember, Caye Caulker 1997 - when everybody on the island was in a panic after the news continue to spread over several weeks, of sightings of a gigantic Hammerhead Shark INSIDE the reef which is only a half mile away. The huge shark was seen prowling too close to shore for islanders comfort.

People on the tip of short docks about 200 feet offshore, who fish at sunset for little pan fry size snappers on the same dock where kids swim during the day, would report being startled by a huge shark passing near. Sightings were occuring more frequently and those who could remember the movie JAWS from the 80's started to fear fiction might turn into reality.

You couldn't keep the children of the island out of the water, so a dive shop owner set out to capture the beast before we live out JAWS. This is what they caught.

CAYE CAULKER LIFE - A trip down memory lane

2009-07-21T13:00:00.001-07:00

Christmas Day Sailing 1997

1998 September Celebrations, Parade

1998

TINAS HOSTEL CAYE CAULKER, July 15, 2009

2009-07-15T16:15:00.000-07:00

Caye Conversation

2009-07-15T11:45:00.000-07:00

Lady Di to TourGuides grouped in front of Hicaco Tours on Front Street.

Lady Di: "Are you guys trying to solve the world's problems?"

Tour Guide: "We're trying to, we have been asking passers-by for a LOAN but the only type of loan we got was LEAVE-ME-A-LONE!

BACK TO THE REVOLUTION - HONDURAS ROUND 2

2009-07-12T22:51:00.000-07:00

It had been earlier this month when Sea Fox and I flew over to Roatan, Honduras for some R&R and to scout a marina for possibly sailing his Gemini 105 Cat back, the "TWICE AS NICE" in the coming weeks ahead. We found Barefoot Caye Marina near French Harbor.

It didn't matter to us that the World News were all about the hot new topic, the "coup d 'etat" where President Mel Zelaya was woken up at gun point & taken in pajamas from the Presidential Palace by the Honduran Military and exiled to Costa Rica only about three days prior to our first visit. Thomas from the Bay Islands Voice said that "Honduras wrote the book on coup d 'etat and if anyone should know one or how to do one, it should be Honduras. Honduras has had nine coup in its 169 year history". Honduran politicians claim it was not a coup but simply the military defending the constitution and that President Zelaya put himself in that position by assuming he was above the law. Whatever the case, we saw little evidence of any uprising on our first trip a few days after the coup d 'etat as most of the protests were happening in the capital. The Bay Islands seemed immune to any political uprising.

On our second visit, there were much less people on the beach and most hotels look deserted mostly due to the sensationalism on foreign news media which resulted in warning for Americans travelling to Honduras and the result of most flights being cancelled to the Bay Islands, still beautiful and unfazed by the revolution. The regular local beach bar hang outs remained lively and with live music and full of local expats, unfazed by all the fuss going on in the capital of Tegucigalpa, far away on the mainland.

We were at sea for 27 straight hours & my entire stomac felt like a towel bouncing around in a dryer and my guts like a towel being wrung out to dry. There it was, I saw the vast open ocean with big gentle waves and the moon beam glittering in a sloppy triangle with the tip falling just beneath the moon in the distance, and the wider part of the triangle batheing the boat with its gleam, as we sailed around 5.3 knots on the glassy looking sea.

Although I had not eaten any food, drank barely one cup of water and remained in a horizontal position most of the time from hence we left San Pedro, Ambergris Caye, Belize, I came alive only briefly when asked to keep watch or assist in some endevour like handing the captain and co-captain a bottle of water or coke. Each time, I would find myself crawling outside & cradling the metal railing at the back of the boat praying all the while not to fall over-board at night, & expelling every dry caked piece of liquid still remaining inside the stomac tumbler, until I felt I would pass out with dehydration and fatigue. Needless to say, I was ecstatic to finally reach dry land and quickly recovered after a couple Barena Beers with lime at Sundowner beach bar in West End but had to make it back to the marina by 6:30 PM which was the countrywide curfew or risk being thrown in jail. After running into my old dear friend Romeo at Infinity Bay the following day, we were invited to his gorgeous condo on the beach for a party the following night and curfew had been extended to 10:00 pm so party began at sundown. As usual, Romeo had invited an eccentric bunch and I got a chance to socialize with friends I had not seen in over a year. My friend Victoria a.k.a "LA Girl" greeted me with a warm hug and we sauntered out to the warm air outside on the balcony overlooking the iron shore at the tip of the long white Sandy Beach at West Bay. LA Girl has been living in Roatan for close to a decade and most everyone know her for her fun loving quirks and zaniness and love her for it.

LA GIRL: "It's good to see you, great of you to come back to the revolution again. OH MY GOD! WHO DOESN'T LIKE A REVOLUTION RIGHT???

These Honduran people are smart, they knew when shit was about to happen and they took action in a peaceful manner, took control of their democracy and nobody got killed. The world should look at that and respect them, not give them grief......right??? RIGHT???

I mean, we are still in Paradise, just look around. HELL, we even have the most gentle earthquakes!! It happened only 27 miles away from here, but instead of rolling up and down, it rolled gently along sideways. I didn't even think it was an earthquake, I am from California, I know earthquakes!
I thought I was in the middle of Poltergeist.
I couldn't believe they were actually evacuating people hours later up into the hills in case of a Tsunami. "
HELL, you and I know that if there was going to be a Tsunami, it would have reached here in a NANO SECOND.......RIGHT? RIGHT?"

Tommy Tomato was priming us up that there was going to be entertainment in the house. The guitarist and his girlfriend walked through the door and Sea Fox says "Hey, they were playing at Pedros a few weeks ago". Suddenly the girl says to her boyfriend: "Hey, there is Tina over there" turns out they stayed at my hostel the week before, so the world can be small. The recovery day after the party, we took David to Anthony's Key to interact with dolphins.
That night we ended up having a wonderful meal at the new Vintage Pearl restaurant on West Bay Beach. By the end of that night, I had made up my mind that I did not want to continue with the sail to Livingston and Rio Dulce. By Friday, the Captain was barking a lot of commands and I got tired of listening so I jumped ship and wrongly assumed that I would be able to easily get a flight out on Maya to Belize that day forgetting once again there is a revolution going on. After finding out that all Maya flights to Honduras had been suspended since the coup d 'etat, I lazily started looking at other options to get back to Belize. One option was making my way down to Puerto Barrios where I hoped a ferry would be heading to Punta Gorda and to do so, I had to make my way to San Pedro Sula on the mainland. With this route in mind, I hopped the one hour ferry from Roatan to La Ceiba and spent the night. I intended to take the three and a half hour bus ride to San Pedro Sula the following day, so spent the day shopping in the big Mall in La Ceiba and eating Burger King and Wendys giving me a taste of the good old USA. After another good nights rest, I chickened on the bus deal and headed to La Ceiba airport and caught a small commuter plane on Aerolinea Sosa to San Pedro Sula. Cost was about $65 usd. I spent another night there still thinking that I will take the hour bus ride to Puerto Barrios the following day. I was beginning to enjoy waking late and taking my leisure time back to home. There was a revolution and I wanted to taste the flavor of it. Apart from the few military with machine guns at road blocks here or there and a few posted at the airports, everything else seemed peaceful and calm and business as usual.

After waking in San Pedro Sula to gorgeous misty Mountain views, I opted to double check the airport to find out when Maya flights would resume (mid-week perhaps) before heading to the bus station. I ready to travel and packing my small suitcase. At the airport, I was informed that Maya was not running scheduled flights, but that a Maya flight was on a special charter and had picked up two clients who had headed to Belize for a few hours. I was told that if I waited long enough at the airport, I could possibly get a ride back with the pilot. After several hours of waiting, I saw the little four seat er Maya plane touch down and was elated to know I had the choice of skipping the bus and four hour boat ride from Puerto Barrios to PG. I'm starting to like adventure on the more comfortable side. As I approached the small aircraft, I was excited to see that is was my first cousin William Whelan as pilot. I sat in the co-pilot seat on the way back as we flew at low altitude to escape approaching thunderstorms. I felt like I had charted my own private plane.

THE GREAT ESCAPE

2009-06-25T10:19:00.000-07:00

Sea Fox & I sat there contemplating at the Catamaran Bar, over One Barrel and Belikin's.
Where to have a quick get-a-away?
Naturally one of my favorite Caribbean islands, Roatan, came up on the suggestion list and since Sea Fox had never been, I was excited to show him around my other Caribbean playground.

With Maya Island, the local Belizean airline announcing new direct flights from Savannah, Southern Belize & price being reasonable we could not really find an excuse as to why not to go.

The flight time with Maya direct from Savannah to Roatan is considerably a shorter trip than the previous Honduran airline that serviced this route, Atlantic Air, which would turn an easy 45 min direct flight distance into an all day travel experience with wait time at the San Pedro Sula airport and La Ceiba airport for up to 8 hours at times, of unintentional misery. Atlantic Air just does not have their shit together and people leaving San Pedro Sula, Honduras to Roatan, Honduras would sometimes have a much longer travel day than someone coming from Houston to Roatan for example.

As I waited with much anticipation and excitement, the little Maya Airvan flew down to the Caye Caulker runway carrying SeaFox on his way to pick up his Sirena, like an Osprey after a fat juicy tarpon in the shallows.

After leaving Belize City, Municipal airport, the little plane rattled skywards and the clouds in the sky opened up so that we can view the rugged largely undeveloped coastline of Belize before flying over vast citrus fields and small coastal villages with several stops on small landing strips scattered around the outskirts of towns.

In Savannah, we had a minor delay waiting for the Immigration (Policeman in Policeman uniform trained to handle immigration) which I found unusual.
Once in Roatan, all the flavors, sights & sounds came alive and we soaked in the spectacular lush hilly landscape and numerous beaches, coves & bights.

SOME OF MY FAVORITE PEOPLE IN THE WORLD

2009-06-11T10:11:00.000-07:00

SOME CAYE CAULKER PEOPLE ARE HARD EARS

2009-05-30T19:37:00.000-07:00

Local island boy, I & I , goes past the beach slowly on the golfcart while Prince back from First World, his friend, islandgirl, childbride & I are sitting around the upper level deck at my mother's house. Island girl screams at I&I, only a few feet away, he doesn't flinch and keeps driving and looking straight ahead. I scream even louder his name, the whole neighborhood hears me, he still doesn't turn to look.

Islandgirl: "He's deaf, you would have to jump in front of the golfcart to get his attention"

Me: "True, I forgot he couldn't hear in one ear & hardly in the other. All those years diving conch and lobster at the reef when he was a teenager is the cause. He burst his eardrums just like so many of the young men on the island who free dive regularly and sometimes don't equalize properly."

Islandgirl: "Revelation! That is why, when people say that Caye Caulker people are HARD EARS" (figure of speech to imply stubborn, won't listen or ignorant),
"THEY REALLY ARE hard ears & don't hear a damn thing.

BELIZE NO LONGER A BANANA REPUBLIC

2009-05-19T16:59:00.000-07:00

I was told Belize is no longer a Banana Republic & that I should change the name of my blog from

"Life in a Banana Republic"

"Life in Belize Telemedia Limited Republic"

cause them owners allegedly want to run the country.

CAYE CAULKER IDLE

2009-05-17T14:50:00.000-07:00

First World has "American Idol" and Caye Caulker has the "Caye Caulker Idle"

Caye Conversations

2009-05-14T10:54:00.000-07:00

Black Entertainment Television (BET) was visiting various parts of the country recently fliming interesting tid-bits. They came to Caye Caulker to film on Ras Creeks, Heritage Cruise.

ME: "So how did the BET Television filming of your tour go?"

RAS: "Not as well as I had wanted"

ME: "Why?"

RAS: "they said they were going to come at 2:00 pm, then they showed up at 10:00 am and I was not ready. I have to go dive the conch when I'm out at the reef to make the ceviche fresh, you know that. So they showed up early and started filming immediately. While I was busy assisting with that, they kept asking, where is the ceviche?

I guess they expected miracles and I could just say
"LET THERE BE CEVICHE!"
I didn't even have time to get wet yet, do my show with the sharks, much less find the conch and cut up the vegetables......and all the while, the guy in charge of the film crew kept looking at me tapping on his watch...."

OVERHEARD

2009-05-06T09:57:00.000-07:00

"When I married her we pledged till death do us part, but hell, I didn't realize it was going to be a competition"

"CHILL MON at TINAS HOSTEL on CAYE CAULKER"

2009-04-17T09:44:00.001-07:00

A new friend I made on this day sailing, Amy Christy from New York, now back home, just sent me this photo. We had spent a good half hour on the boat laughing and making up slogans that would reflect Tina's Hostel laid back vibe. We decided we liked this photo as the Logo and well, neither of us could remember all the crazy slogans we had come up with at the time.

FUN & SUN VIDEO

2009-04-07T14:59:00.000-07:00