Roatan, Honduras.
The pirate walks into a bar and has a boat steering wheel stuck between his legs, he bellie's up to the bar, the barmaid asks "Oooyy pirate, why do you have a steering wheel between your crotch?"
Jonesville, located a short distance west of Oak Ridge, is perhaps Roatan's nicest traditional community. By that, I mean it is almost completely populated by islanders and its only concession to tourism is one gift shop. It is a quiet, clean town. Most residents are in the island's fishing industry and on a normal day when you drive through you will see older ladies eyeing you suspiciously while sitting on their rocking chairs on the porches. A lot of the houses are built over the water. The main attraction in Jonesville for visitors today, is the Hole-in-the-Wall restaurant and bar built by an ex-pat Bob,
twice after it burned down once. His is a rickety old rustic unpainted shack on stilts with a little bar and a big verandah, also big on good vibes. This off the beaten path, but highly popular on Sunday's bar, sits on the edge of a steep hillside behind. Bob dug out the hill, & built himself a little stone castle using the same clay and rocks he harvested from it.
The pirate walks into a bar and has a boat steering wheel stuck between his legs, he bellie's up to the bar, the barmaid asks "Oooyy pirate, why do you have a steering wheel between your crotch?"
The pirate says: "Aaaarrrggggg.....just driving me nuts wench!"
T-Bone woke me up for the second time around 10:30 a.m. He wanted to get out of the locked room and he was eager to go to the Pirates Festival. He has become quite the party dog and I can hardly leave my house without him. He insists on coming!
T-Bone woke me up for the second time around 10:30 a.m. He wanted to get out of the locked room and he was eager to go to the Pirates Festival. He has become quite the party dog and I can hardly leave my house without him. He insists on coming!
Today I was game. I stepped outside on my little verandah as T-Bone followed excitedly at a too close distance almost tripping me to my death. I managed to wobble outside eventually and bent over just enough so that I can see the beach and sea from under the 300 year old almond tree branches & leaves that shaded my entire yard. Out there in the distance the sun was shining and the sky was a cloudless blue while the seas sat quietly and boater's whizzed by as if the perfect day of summer had arrived. I called up G-Rod as he had already put in a couple hours of work by this time, I was sure he was ready to go.
Ring....ring...ring...
Me: "G-Rod yo
u up for the festival today?
u up for the festival today? G-Rod: "I've already started celebrating, I'm at the palapa bar. L.A. girl is here and she's driving us up."
Me: "OK are you coming to pick me up in the truck?"
G-Rod: "No. Take the water taxi over"
Me: "O.K."
20 minutes later... as I sat waiting for un-scheduled water taxi boat impatiently, I ring G-Rod again.
Me: "Can you come get me, I don't see any water taxi's coming, I don't want to sit here, I'm ready to get there"
(garble sounds in the back of the phone)
G-Rod: " Lucky for you, I'm at the dock in Capt. Nige boat, he said we could come pick you up"
Me: "Great! I'm on the dock out front with T-Bone"
20 mins later again into what is supposed to be a 5 minute journey from West Bay to West End, no boat in sight! Then I remember Capt. Nige's boat is a big old disel slow dragging, deep sea fishing kind of boat.
Reaching elevated anxiety levels as an hour of sitting in the sun approached (my momma always said to me, patience is not one of your virtues darling) , a water taxi heading in the right direction finally comes by and I start waving from the tip of the dock until he see's me. He's on the lookout and swings right on over and I jump off the dock onto the boat. 
50 yards over, he drives the boat right up on the beach to pick up an American couple heading our way. There is no one spot where you need to go to be picked up, you just have to wave them down.
50 yards over, he drives the boat right up on the beach to pick up an American couple heading our way. There is no one spot where you need to go to be picked up, you just have to wave them down. As we are almost approaching West Bay I see the boat turning the corner at Las Rocas (the rocks) jutting out to the reef. I tell my captain that I wish to board the vessel approaching. Well not exactly in those words, rather in creole.
He pulls up alongside their boat as I yell, "MUTINY! THIS IS A MUTINY YOU SCALLIWAGS!" and left the American couple wondering who this crazy woman is as I jumped from boat to boat while the boats are still moving - in a true Pirate of the Caribbean move, straight out of a movie.
After the slow boat to China, we finally get to the palapa, & order a couple "monkey la la's" (most famous Roatan drink similar in popularity to the Belizean "panty ripper" but this one tastes more like a mud slide). We ate some food then took off towards the other end of the island about 25 miles away to a little seaside town called Jonesville, home to many pirates because of its deep water cove nestled between the hills hiding their ships from other pirates, and whereby ancestors of these pirates still live.
Jonesville, located a short distance west of Oak Ridge, is perhaps Roatan's nicest traditional community. By that, I mean it is almost completely populated by islanders and its only concession to tourism is one gift shop. It is a quiet, clean town. Most residents are in the island's fishing industry and on a normal day when you drive through you will see older ladies eyeing you suspiciously while sitting on their rocking chairs on the porches. A lot of the houses are built over the water. The main attraction in Jonesville for visitors today, is the Hole-in-the-Wall restaurant and bar built by an ex-pat Bob, twice after it burned down once. His is a rickety old rustic unpainted shack on stilts with a little bar and a big verandah, also big on good vibes. This off the beaten path, but highly popular on Sunday's bar, sits on the edge of a steep hillside behind. Bob dug out the hill, & built himself a little stone castle using the same clay and rocks he harvested from it.This place has the best seafood & steak buffet in the world. All you can eat lobster/crab/USDA choice steaks - all for 15 bucks and they keep the pot and your belly full because you can refill again..and again...over the hours you stay. 
In the old days, Jonesville had a bustling brothel to service the fishermen , I was told, which is what the village was most famous for then. Today, Hole-in-the-wall is the most famous place. You have to get to Hole-in-the-wall by water taxi, as you have to get around a lot of the places in these areas. You go to someone's back yard dock and wait, the water taxi is sent from the bar complimentary to pick you up. You don't have to call an make an appointment, they just circle the docks every 15 minutes or so. The one main cement street runs along the waterside (see photo above) but the water is not visible as a lot of the houses are built over or near the edge of it. Shrimp boats still dock in the safe harbor and today, I noticed old pirates hugging and greeting each other in a gentle way, congratulating themselves on the celebration of their day.
In the old days, Jonesville had a bustling brothel to service the fishermen , I was told, which is what the village was most famous for then. Today, Hole-in-the-wall is the most famous place. You have to get to Hole-in-the-wall by water taxi, as you have to get around a lot of the places in these areas. You go to someone's back yard dock and wait, the water taxi is sent from the bar complimentary to pick you up. You don't have to call an make an appointment, they just circle the docks every 15 minutes or so. The one main cement street runs along the waterside (see photo above) but the water is not visible as a lot of the houses are built over or near the edge of it. Shrimp boats still dock in the safe harbor and today, I noticed old pirates hugging and greeting each other in a gentle way, congratulating themselves on the celebration of their day.My Russian/American friend "L.A. Girl" wanted to stop by her house for her costume which I think is just gorgeous. She said it was her "pirate pimp" look. I couldn't resist trying on the hat. G-Rod and I 
made a lame attempt at looking like pirates and I'm disappointed in myself. I hope you guys enjoy the pictures.
made a lame attempt at looking like pirates and I'm disappointed in myself. I hope you guys enjoy the pictures.
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