MandingStress: "Gial, I guess the word is out on the Coconut Wireless that I'm dating two men at the same time."

"Why do you think that people already know?

MandingStress: "I went to the Split yesterday and sat down at the bar stool next to big mouth Raf and he starts making a scene yelling dramatically,
No, No....Noooooo ! - you're not sitting next to me, I don't want anybody to miss & catch me!"

Me: "What did he mean?"

MandingStress: "I dunno - I guess gunfire, spear gun aiming my way - whatever... supposedly by a jealous lover"

Me: "So he made you laugh today?"

MandingStress: "NO, he made me LEAVE!"

Me: "thats scarey funny"

MandingStress: "I guess I'll have to change my DIET, less cock"

Me: 'what to do when you don't know what to do?"

"nothing to do and all day to do it"


Ras (to his European girlfriend): "Baby, our life is getting boring, can we practice being Cheaters"

She: "what do you mean, are you crazy?"

Ras: "No, lets spice up our love life, the kind of excitement you feel when you are sneaking around with someone you shouldn't be with.
  • Wouldn't it be romantic if I told you to meet me at the back dock late at night?
She: "this isn't a sick joke?"

Ras: "No, we will be professional cheaters & be on time'

She: "you've clear lost your mind'


  • "Wouldn't you like it if I just told you to meet me at the boat and I wisk you to the reef for a skinny dip in the middle of a hot summer afternoon?"
  • If I snuck you down to the airstrip runway in a golf cart on a moonlit night to go crocodile watching and make out?
  • If I told you to meet me at the Split and we make love under the stars on the top deck after the bar is closed?
  • Or at the tip of a secluded pier around the South Point or the abandoned beach lot next to Shirley's -under a moon-lit coconut tree?
  • What if I told you to rendezvous with me North side of the split and to meet me there with a picnic basket, a bottle of wine and some mosquito repellent?
She: "That sounds like my pocket book getting thinner, splinters in the bum, dengue , wrestling with a croc & a sand filled crack - BUT - keep talking, it doesn't hurt to know where to find you when you're missing in professional cheater action"


Me: "I need a good man Islandgirl"

Islandgirl: "Someone who will treat you like a fragile egg"

Me: "How did you know?"

Islandgirl: "cause I see you Humpty Dumpty - about to fall off the wall"

ME: "SUP with your twin sister these days?"

She left her third husband with the two kids they had together and moved out of the house into her own with the three older kids."

ME: "Really, she left the young kids behind for the father to raise?"

TWINZY: "She told him - you met me with three, you sure as hell ain't gonna leave me with five!"