MANDINGSTRESS DIET
MandingStress: "Gial, I guess the word is out on the Coconut Wireless that I'm dating two men at the same time."
Me: "Why do you think that people already know?"
MandingStress: "I went to the Split yesterday and sat down at the bar stool next to big mouth Raf and he starts making a scene yelling dramatically,
No, No....Noooooo ! - you're not sitting next to me, I don't want anybody to miss & catch me!"
Me: "What did he mean?"
MandingStress: "I dunno - I guess gunfire, spear gun aiming my way - whatever... supposedly by a jealous lover"
Me: "So he made you laugh today?"
MandingStress: "NO, he made me LEAVE!"
Me: "thats scarey funny"
MandingStress: "I guess I'll have to change my DIET, less cock"
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Me: "Why do you think that people already know?"
MandingStress: "I went to the Split yesterday and sat down at the bar stool next to big mouth Raf and he starts making a scene yelling dramatically,
No, No....Noooooo ! - you're not sitting next to me, I don't want anybody to miss & catch me!"
Me: "What did he mean?"
MandingStress: "I dunno - I guess gunfire, spear gun aiming my way - whatever... supposedly by a jealous lover"
Me: "So he made you laugh today?"
MandingStress: "NO, he made me LEAVE!"
Me: "thats scarey funny"
MandingStress: "I guess I'll have to change my DIET, less cock"
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ISLAND WORRIES. THIS AINT NEW YORK, LONDON OR PARIS.
Me: 'what to do when you don't know what to do?"
Brown: "nothing to do and all day to do it"
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PROFESSIONAL CHEATER
Ras (to his European girlfriend): "Baby, our life is getting boring, can we practice being Cheaters"
She: "what do you mean, are you crazy?"
Ras: "No, lets spice up our love life, the kind of excitement you feel when you are sneaking around with someone you shouldn't be with.
- Wouldn't it be romantic if I told you to meet me at the back dock late at night?
Ras: "No, we will be professional cheaters & be on time'
She: "you've clear lost your mind'
Ras:
- "Wouldn't you like it if I just told you to meet me at the boat and I wisk you to the reef for a skinny dip in the middle of a hot summer afternoon?"
- If I snuck you down to the airstrip runway in a golf cart on a moonlit night to go crocodile watching and make out?
- If I told you to meet me at the Split and we make love under the stars on the top deck after the bar is closed?
- Or at the tip of a secluded pier around the South Point or the abandoned beach lot next to Shirley's -under a moon-lit coconut tree?
- What if I told you to rendezvous with me North side of the split and to meet me there with a picnic basket, a bottle of wine and some mosquito repellent?
She: "That sounds like my pocket book getting thinner, splinters in the bum, dengue , wrestling with a croc & a sand filled crack - BUT - keep talking, it doesn't hurt to know where to find you when you're missing in professional cheater action"
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FABERGE'
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FABERGE'
Me: "I need a good man Islandgirl"
Islandgirl: "Someone who will treat you like a fragile egg"
Me: "How did you know?"
Islandgirl: "cause I see you Humpty Dumpty - about to fall off the wall"
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Islandgirl: "Someone who will treat you like a fragile egg"
Me: "How did you know?"
Islandgirl: "cause I see you Humpty Dumpty - about to fall off the wall"
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SINGLE WOMAN HARDSHIP RESOLVED
ME: "SUP with your twin sister these days?"
TWINZY: "She left her third husband with the two kids they had together and moved out of the house into her own with the three older kids."
ME: "Really, she left the young kids behind for the father to raise?"
TWINZY: "She told him - you met me with three, you sure as hell ain't gonna leave me with five!"
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