DATING IN A BANANA REPUBLIC

Dating in the Banana Republic is a little like Russian roulette, except all six chambers of the pistol are loaded!

Islandgirl & I sat laughing remembering a few....

Me: "Remember that 50 year old Belizean/American guy we met on the Caye & seemed so nice, the one that spent the last 3 decades in First World?
He invitied me to a B-B-Q at his 300 acre farm next to the river in D-Bank a few weeks back and thankfully I took Ms. Star with me.
Well, he kept pistols with him at all times, on the table, the floor of the car, in his holster, even when he was cooking, he would put the gun next to the grill while cooking the chicken, always within easy arms reach.

We had to pass through about two guarded gates to get in or out, he seemed overly paranoid. I was really spooked islandgirl, he never had the gun out of sight, even at home. I think he has something to hide & I couldn't wait to get the hell out of there".

Islandgirl: "follow your instincts girl, mine tells me, he's the kind of man who will make you dig your own grave!"
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Islandgirl: "remember that gringo I told you I went to dinner with a little while back"

Me: "I remember"

Islandgirl:
"he spent the evening comparing the jails he had been in, in Mexico, USA & Canada"
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Me: "What about that Italian Stallion BIG SPENDER?

At dinner, he said to the waiter 'she will have coffee, I will have the buffett and then whispered when the waiter was gone, we can share it'.

When the coke came, he pointed about mid-way down the bottle and told me I could drink up to there."

Islandgirl: "I hope you snapped the menu shut on his face and left"
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Islandgirl: "I went on a blind date once, never again!

My friend set me up, said he worked in an office.

Instead, at dinner, this wirey skinny man with boney fingers kept tapping on the table, told me he dug grave holes at the cemetery in his new job. He explained he longed to be in control of other people, dead or alive.

He said he left the hustle & bustle of corporate Belize for the world of chirping birds and sweet smelling grass at the cemetery, where he could breathe in God's good clean air and get his hands dirty with mother nature's soil.
I should have judged this schnook by its cover.

I am copying this new message to my answering machine:
.
If you are OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE
press 1 repeatedly;
.
If you are CO-DEPENDENT
have someone press 2 for you;
.
If you have MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES
press 3, 4, 5 & 6
.
If you are PARANOID
we know who you are and we are traceing your call;
.
If you are DELUSIONAL
stay on the line, we will transfer you to the mothership shortly;
.
If you have a NERVOUS DISORDER
wait for the beep, wait for the beep again;
.
If you suffer from MEMORY LOSS
call again later

Comments

Anonymous said…
You ladies ever heard of the term "red flag"? I think you had about 85 of them (at my last count!) VoodooChild