HOW TO FAIL YOUR WAY TO SUCCESS

(LOVE what you are doing, make your passion your work and money just follows - in my case, my passion is looking at young men frolicking half naked in my yard )

I woke up early today to the sight of low grey Sky's of the volume that threatened rain at any moment. Even before stepping outdoors, I was fore-warned, since the "kerech" or gecko in my room has been croaking since last night. This little creature is the only weather reporter I actually believe. Old timers from the island use to tell us that if the kerech croaks, you can be sure rain is coming. After each rainstorm, humidity falls over you like a warm blanket.

I have not done much since Boxing Day Brahm other than hanging around at home/hostel remembering the first and last time I fell in love, but never the ones in between.

I'm also having flashbacks of 10 years of living in a busy youth hostel and am coming to terms with the fact that I really do enjoy all these culturally different people sharing my beach home on a daily basis after all. They sure do entertain me, especially through the survalliance cameras (only in public areas). These random people over the years have helped shape my character.
I feel like David Karesh, with my own little commune where I can feel powerful and ruthless.

Who in their right mind would live in a hostel for 10 years?
No one!

.....and that tells you the state of my mind.

Am I jaded?
Hell yes!

I feel like the last decade I had fallen into a black hole, the kind of hotel where you check in to and can't check out. Hotel California comes to mind too. Tina's Hostel is my Hotel California, my black hole and I can never leave.

I don't look at myself as any success story since I always feel deprived of something in my third world life in this beautiful & special Banana Republic and still live like a raggamuffin.

She: "You own this hostel?
how do you manage a successful hostel?
How long have you been doing it?"


Common questions, valid ones by strangers looking at me surprised or bewildered that I actually own the little joint. I have very bimbo-like qualities, appear aloof, usually complimented with a look that says 'just stumbled out of bed' at any time of the day & you can take that look literally.
Most times they take me for a spaced out guest at the hostel and I like to play that role. I try my best to blend in the background.
I certainly don't brag that I am Tina since I would be bombarded with questions by 35 people daily who assume I know everything relating to the Country of Belize and some neighboring ones too, & I'm over it.
I have staff to speak on my behalf now...lol.

Me (answering the above questions):
"Yes"
I failed my way to success"
"10 years"

She: "what do you mean failed your way to success?"

Me: "The hostel idea came to me when I found myself single on Caye Caulker and this is the kind of place, as my friend Cynthia (YooHoo) would say " you have to BYOM (bring your own man)" since options are severly limited.


I racked my brain to find a way to be surrounded at home by young handsome men frolicking and sunbathing half naked with little expense or effort on my part. I always wanted to have a place like Hugh Hefner's & had to figure out a poor woman's version.
10 years later, I still don't spend much time looking at the business aspect of this place, I'm too distracted by the boys that are always here"

------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mark wrote on your Wall:"Fail your way to success, sounds familiar to me! I was a mess 20 years ago. Fell into this great gig working with huge equipment all the time. Tripped and fell in love 15 years ago to one wonderful lady, now have a great 4 year old son. I also am living the "Hotel California". Everything I do seems to be accidently on purpose, but for some reason when the day is done, I always wind-up a little better than before. I still feel like an out of control mess, but what a mess it is, wouldn't trade it for anything!-VoodooChild"


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