CAYE CONVERSATIONS

Sunday afternoon Pina Coladas at the Sportsbar with an assorted motley crew I met at a picnic table outside....,

of course the conversations center around sex & gossip & nothing outside the perimeters of the small island life.

Not one person mentioned the HUGE upcoming inauguration of Mr. President of First World or anything else of consequence....lol.

here goes..

.

HE: "Remember my old girlfriend Jett.........

the one who use to give it away hand over fist?

Well, she's back on the island like an old shoes in a box, nobody wants to wear her."

SHE: "Hmmmmm.........

I really need to put some miles on mine,

its hardly been used"

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SHE: "My new boyfriend is a foolish drunk, funky , old & grey retired widower......

rich with no kids to fight me for the inheritance"

.

HE: "thats what you call your SOUL MATE"

.

SHE: "I want my M & M's!! (men with money)

It is really difficult for me to feel sorry for people who are genuinely stupid,

through no fault of their own,

but rather a lack of brain cells."

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HE: "Here comes HUMP-GIRL"

SHE: "why do you call her hump-girl?"

HE: "every time she gets drunk she starts to dance the dry hump (simulating action)"

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SHE: "I dumped the gringo over there because he had a little acorn and I'm use to the whole squirrel"

SHE2: "Aaaye man!

It's not that its small, it's just that it's not designed for you!"

SHE: "I like when they make me feel like a stuffed burrito from Rasta Pasta"

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SHE2 (to gringa at table): "you ever had other black boyfriends?"

GRINGA: "this is my first time with island Mandingo here"

SHE2: "Well don't take him home to meet your folks, you will be cut out of the will"

GRINGA: "you might be right, I haven't even known him for 24 hrs and he's already acting like a jealous husband"

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CARIBBEAN BUSINESS IDEA # 103

1-800 -THE DECOY

SHE: "I think I'll offer my services as a paid DECOY to my girlfriends or anyone else who might need this kind of service.

My girlfriends always want me to hang around them and their lover at the split. They always use me as an excuse, pretending they are actually there for me and their husbands all hate me, I might as well get paid for the flack and waste of my time"

HE: "Advertise quietly girl, you on to something.

That kind of service is in demand around here

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TOURGUIDE: "when I'm on a snorkel tour with a bunch of fuddy duddies, its a quick trip,

when its some lovely ladies, I cut the engine on the way back & drift in,

to admire the view.